The School Project
by reminiscent-afterthought
Summary: AU-It all started with a new school, and a certain student. He never talked, never fought back…it was discerning to say the least. Then I was paired in a project with him, and found out quite a bit about him-including the fact that he was my brother.
1. The Beginning of it All

Author's Notes

I've been wanting to write this story for years, and now it just won't stay down. Like a volcano, spewing out all its information in one shot…not that I got it all down. I'm not that fast a typist. I've planned this to be twelve chapters, all Kouji's POV, which should be interesting, especially since the summary only tackles the main issue and not the other stuff that crop up.

On a separate note, if you read my other stories (the longer ones), I've got a poll on my profile, where you can vote for which one you want updated regularly after I get some of the more manageable length ones out of the way. It's blind poll this time because of the disproportionality I got last time, and just because a certain story doesn't get the most votes, doesn't mean it won't be updated. I'm just curious to know what all you readers think.

Okay, enough of that. Enjoy.

* * *

><p><span>The School Project<span>

AU-It all started with a new school, and a certain student. He never talked, never fought back…it was discerning to say the least. Then I was paired in a school project with him, and found out quite a bit about him-including the fact that he was my brother.

Kouji M/Koji & Kouichi K/Koichi

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Family

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 1<span>

The Beginning of it All

If you're looking for my autobiography, go look somewhere else. Actually, on second thought, don't even bother. I'm not the kind of person who puts the details of his life out for publicity's show. You can ask different people, and they'll tell you different things; that's just the way the world works, especially when you're not too in on the whole social network thing. But there are times when these different views can really hurt someone…and that's really why I'm doing this, you know. Sort of, I'm not too good at expressing what I'm feeling.

This isn't even about me. Well…it is, but not in the way you might think. Or you might…I wouldn't know. I'm no psychoanalyst. I don't like them much either, whether they call themselves counsellors or psychologists or psychiatrists, although I've only ever sat and really talked with one (not counting the school counsellors I have to talk to _every_ time I change schools). I won't say it was the worst experience of my life, because it wasn't, but it's certainly not one I'll voluntarily undergo again. There's no such thing as private to them, prying into matters that should be none of their business, taking their 'patient's' mind apart to shatter it into a multitude of pieces to then rebuild it, exposing its entire content in the process. As long as she's helping my brother though, I can tolerate it.

That's what this is really about. My brother. But it's not your usual "how I met my brother" tale. And yes, I do mean "met"; we've, like all twins, have known each other since we were born, but there's a large gap in between through which we both passed, blissfully unaware of each other's existence. Perhaps bliss is the wrong word; it wasn't easy, that's for sure, more so for him than for me. I mean, I lost my mother, but so did he, and a few chances for friends. He lost his home as well, and almost his life.

But it's a long story, and I suppose I'd better start with the first time I met him.

We had moved, again. From Osaka to Jiyugaoka, Shibuya. Dad's job means he has to move around a lot, and that always means a new school, and new people not to get along with. Once a time, I would have tried to get to know people, connect with them, but when you spend little time in one place, you tend to recognise the futility of it all. I wouldn't call it giving up. It's more like taking the outside roads. It's a world you're never going to stay in too long; getting too attached will only bring more pain that you don't want. Koichi was, to be honest, the near opposite extreme. In the end, what matters the most is finding an intermediate, an equilibrium.

The same thing applied to places, just not to that personal depth. Perhaps because places, for all their symbolic meaning, were inanimate. Whatever they were was what you thought of them. They wouldn't just turn around and smack you in the face like people could, completely rewriting your psyche in a matter of years, months, weeks, or in the very rare case, days.

So Dad, his wife Satomi, and I moved into Jiyugaoka, almost at the end of the first semester of my last year at elementary school. My real mother, Dad had told me, died when I was two, of some sort of sickness I could never remember the name of. She is dead, honestly, and she did die because she was sick, but it actually didn't happen till that day, a week after we moved in and sorted out the paperwork, when I first started at Jiyugaoka Elementary. Either way though, Satomi never was and never will be my birthmother. At least now we understand each other better. She hadn't really gotten the chance to know me; I hadn't given it to her. But all that comes later. It began with that first day. For me anyway. After all, the beginning and end of any tale is relative to the person telling it.

Of course, I hadn't known at that point in time. Simply thinking that my first day of school at Jiyugaoka Elementary was going to be like every other first day of school I have been forced to endure in the twelve years of my life, I went in my normal mind-set.

Dad walked me on that first day. For the longest time, I wondered why he would always that. He was hardly ever home after all. Except he always walked me on my first day at any school. Even if at times he was so wrapped up in his cases that he never got the chance to go back. Satomi had wound up having to handle the transfer of enrolments from my last elementary school in Osaka. Dad was between the office and his clients the whole time.

To be honest, I think we've had the typical father-son relationship…relatively. After all, he had needed to raise me himself for six years, adding to the pressure of being a lawyer where everyone was either breathing down your neck or after it. I know one thing from watching him; I am _never_ becoming a lawyer. Ever. Leave that to someone who doesn't have anyone they care for. Because that's a weakness that could one day cost you big time. Especially when you're forced to conform to laws that your heart would fight with all its might. But I'll get to that in due time.

Anyway, Dad walked me. He dropped me off at the office, introduced himself and me, then hurried off to some business meeting. The secretary looked at me, almost as if she was cross-examining me, then handed me a schedule and a map, quickly explained the abbreviations (which tended to differ from school to school) and a few elementary rules and regulations, then came around her desk to drop me off to my first period class, seeing as it was too late for homeroom.

She didn't mince words. Good. I hated it when people did. Seriously, there's a lot better stuff someone can spend their time on than sprouting a bunch of jargon people aren't even listening to. But at the same time, she didn't have that cold air of unfriendliness. She sat more so on some sort of equilibrium. Not that I really took note of that. Those qualities simply stood out of that first meeting, and the only reason I still remember them is because I've seen her again since.

In any case, she walked me to class, pointed out a few main areas, buildings, the auditorium, the likes, then exchanged a few words with a younger woman who was to be my teacher for all subjects except the electives, grade segmented and sport, then left me alone with her.

The first thing she did was smile. And that really irked me. Seriously. Smiling for no reason takes the meaning out of a smile. And that gave me the first impression of her not being a very impressible character. In fact, if I couldn't hear how quiet the class was through the open door, I would have to had questioned her teaching abilities. There weren't many teachers who managed to be sweet, kind, and at the same time, stern enough to contain a class of pre-teens and actually _teach_ them something. It was a bit of a switch for me as well; my last general teacher had been quite strict. Anything above an 'indoor' speaking tone or unrelated to matters pertaining to academics immediately earned oneself a detention. Strict, but perhaps not so effective when you're dealing with people several years shy of becoming adults.

This woman was quite different. Black hair clipped back, quite common in these parts. Green eyes…not so common, but not entirely unusual. Her name was Alice Kanon. She didn't look Japanese either, but she spoke it fluently enough. However the way she said her name made it obvious that it hadn't been originally intended to be spoken primarily in the Japanese dialect. It came out 'Arisu' when a native Japanese said it…unless their English lacked the notable accent that seemed to be engrained in most of us. Especially since a majority of the Japanese population don't begin English till high school. There are a few schools that begin in elementary; two of mine did, but with all the moving around and the consequent gap of knowledge, I didn't get very far into it at all.

Back to class. Social Studies (called humanities or SOSE in some schools). She gestured me into the classroom without another word after the brief exchange of introductions, which to be honest sent that first impression whirling.

The class, which I then noted had been somewhat talking rather silently amongst themselves in the brief intermission, fell respectively silent again. Temporarily. Mrs Kanon smiled at everyone, then turned to smile again at me. 'Everyone,' she introduced. 'This is Koji Minamoto. He has moved here from Osaka, and will be joining our class, and I know you'll all do your best to make him feel welcome.'

The rudimentary 'welcome' speech. But it was the way customs ran deep in society. Especially ours.

I bowed. Again, custom, keeping my back straight and arms stiff at my sides, before straightening. 'It's nice to meet you,' I said, somewhat flatly, ignoring the looks I received.

The teacher clapped her hands. 'All right,' she murmured. 'Seating.'

There were two seats available. One next to a brunette in the front who was swinging on his chair and gave me the impression he wasn't the type who could sit still for more than five minutes. The other was next to a dark haired boy in the back corner who seemed more interested in the shadow his desk cast than anything that was going on around him. Not in the sense of being rude though; he had looked up during when the talking had been going on. The rest of the class was all paired up in their desks, but to be honest, no-one at that moment really stuck out.

Until Mrs Kakon sighed. 'You may sit next to Mr Kanbara,' she decided, giving the brunette who was swinging on his chair a look. 'I trust you'll show Mr Minamoto around.'

'Yes ma'am,' he chirped.

Great, one of those boisterous types, as the first thought that fluttered through my head as I sat down in the allocated seat.

Mrs Kakon took the roll then, thirty or so students whose names I immediately forgot…except the boy who I was sitting towards. Because he, ignoring all customs and the teacher up the front, grinned, held out his hand to shake, and said: 'Hi, I'm Takuya Kanbara. You wan-'

Luckily, he was cut off. I got the feeling he was going to go off on some random tangent. And now that I know him better, I know that was exactly what he had been about to do.

But he hadn't been cut off by the teacher, but by the breathless secretary who had shown up at the door again. And there was something about the expression she wore that immediately put me on edge.

Not even a half hour at this new school, and already, it was driving me up the wall. It wasn't until well over two months after that I noted exactly which wall it had driven me up.

Mrs Kakon had obviously noted the look as well, as well had some of the class. Less than a third I think; the remaining two thirds started chatting again. Me. I just ignored the chatty boy beside me, looking at the doorway which had been vacated as the two women conversed just outside its visual limits. I would have said chatted, but the expressions on both faces had seemed far too serious.

More so when the black haired woman returned to the doorway only long enough to gesture a student out. Specifically, the one who sat by himself at the back.

It was a little odd. She didn't use his surname, or anything at all. Just a simple given name.

'Koichi,' she said, the inherent lightness in her voice a little dark. 'Come outside please.'

Everyone looked at her, before looking at the boy who was slipping out of his desk. The whispering started again as the teacher withdrew, but I didn't catch a lot of them. There was something about him not being the type to get into trouble, and a few more spiteful comments to which the brunette sitting next to me snapped back with the ferocity of a little dragon, effectively shutting them up.

It took ten or so minutes for Mrs Kakon to return to the room, with a slightly sorrowful expression on her face, and alone. Neither the boy, Koichi, nor the secretary, were with her.

'Mr Kanbara,' she said, eyeing the boy beside me, Takuya. 'Please see my after class. Everyone, turn to page 54 of your textbook, read the section till page 62 then answer the questions that follow. Mr Minamoto, please share with Mr Kanbara. No talking please.'

There was a sudden hushed silence, before a few disgruntled and surprised murmurs broke out, only to be shut up immediately after words. Within minutes, everyone was reading the prescribed pages. And I got the feeling from the initial reactions that this wasn't the work the teacher normally assigned.

In the end, the class was dismissed with only one girl in the middle row having finished the assigned questions. To everybody else, it was written as homework, as students packed up their books for sport.

Takuya stayed back, seeing as Mrs Kakon had wanted to see him. I stayed too, if only because, one, I hadn't brought my sport uniform, not knowing Monday meant sports, and two, he was supposed to be showing me around, and it was easier on my pride (if that's what you want to call it; I would personally disagree). Mrs Kakon didn't seem to mind my presence, so I simply hung by the door, books in hand.

I didn't here what she said to him, but they talked for about five minutes or so, before the brunette went and collected the books left behind. His own, and that of the other student who had never returned to the period.

Takuya came over to me, and looked at my books. 'Have you been you your locker?'

I answered with a simple 'no.'

He nodded, constant smile gone. 'Come on then.' He gestured at his hands with his shoulders…somewhat. 'I need to put this stuff away anyway.'

He led the way, pointing out classrooms that were apparently on my schedule. Turned out not all of them were; I didn't take exactly the same classes he did.

He paused by a locker, before turning to me. 'I'm assuming this one's yours,' he said. 'Seeing as it's the only empty one.'

He was right. Not that you could tell just by looking at the lockers. But being there at least twice a day would tell you which ones didn't have someone hovering over it.

'You need to enter in your combination and then open it,' he explained, moving to a locker about three columns across and working on his own combination. 'It's probably on your schedule.'

It was, and it didn't take long for it to open and for me to dump the unnecessary books into it. It took a little longer for Takuya, if only to separate the two sets of books.

'I'll give them back to him when he comes back,' Takuya mumbled to himself, slamming the door shut. 'Dunno how long that's going to take though…'

His voice trailed off a bit, before he realised I was standing there. 'That didn't make any sense at all to you, did it?' he asked, in all seriousness, nothing like the…well, bouncy boy that had been swinging on his chair. He shook his head afterwards. 'Never mind. They'll explain it. Probably have an emergency assembly.'

He suddenly thrust a plastic bag containing something soft (sports uniform I noted) into my hands.

'I keep a spare,' he said in answer to the unasked question. 'Need to for soccer practice. But it's clean. Mum just washed it yesterday.'

Too much information, but that was, I reluctantly had to admit to myself, rather nice of him.

He was right about the other fact too. They did have an assembly for all the fifth graders. And I think the news had temporarily shocked everybody into silence, regardless of what emotions, ties or bonds ran between the people listening and the person actually involved. Even me, who hadn't so much as made eye contact with the guy at the time, but I realised a little later on that it had affected me more than I noted at the time.

It turned out that his mother had passed away that morning. To be honest, I wondered for a fleeting second how he hadn't known his mother was sick before he left for school. I mean, it had been pretty early during the day. But apparently she had been sick for some time, because the principal continued discussing something or other about it. He unfortunately used words that were very difficult to remember.

The rest of the day passed almost silently, but the next day set things into full swing again (or so I assumed; I had, after all, missed out on 'normalcy's' painting.. Relatively. A blonde in the second row commented that Takuya was being more snappish than normal, to which he replied he wouldn't be much of a friend if he wasn't. The said friend was notably absent, the empty twin desks in the back row glaringly obvious.

I didn't see Koichi Kimura again till after five weeks had passed (four of those were summer break).

Takuya, unfortunately (at the time anyway), stuck like a leech. It had turned out he didn't live too far away from my house either.

* * *

><p><span>Author's Notes:<span>

Alice (Arisu) Kanon: Arisu is the Japanese version of Alice, which is an English name meaning 'noble sort'. Kanon is a japanese name meaning 'flower sound'. Which indicates she's either half Japanese or she's married to a Japanese guy. Or both.


	2. Shadowed by his Silence

Author's Notes

Not much to say, 'xcept enjoy.

* * *

><p><span>The School Project<span>

AU-It all started with a new school, and a certain student. He never talked, never fought back…it was discerning to say the least. Then I was paired in a school project with him, and found out quite a bit about him-including the fact that he was my brother.

Kouji M/Koji & Kouichi K/Koichi

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Family

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 2<span>

Shadowed in his Silence

A new trimester started after the Summer break, but to be honest, it seemed to me almost exactly like the old one…initially anyway. An assembly at the start of Monday where the coordinator droned on for half an hour about how he expected, which very few people managed to concentrate for the entire duration of. I know Takuya beside me was doodling on the back of his incomplete science homework; he would have been talking, unfortunately to me, but Mrs Kakon was only so lenient, and one thing she didn't tolerate was talking when one should have been listening.

Turns out that was why the empty seat next to him before I started had been…well, empty. There was still one empty seat, the one ext to Koichi, but it almost got passed over for an empty _pair_ until we returned to SOSE and the role was taken. Only because our teacher normally repeated absent names; not everybody answered vocally.

Nothing strange about that. We began a new topic, feudal Japan, which I suppose, could have been a worse topic. I'm just not a big fan of history. But there are some who divulge into it of their own free will. Pride of heritage and all that crap.

She had set us some preliminary reading over the holidays, which it appeared everyone had at least attempted, even those who were prone to slacking off like Takuya (what with all the trips to the arcade and the public swimming complex). That much was obvious seeing as there were no blank faces at the beginning of the discussion, but that begun to change as the multitude of voices began delving deeper, throwing out less obvious pieces of information and analysis that were helped along by Mrs Kakon, and pens and exercise books came out as people jotted down notes. Voices began dropping out, until it was only Mrs Kakon throwing out topics and getting no-where.

Very few people had noticed there was one who had not contributed to the discussion at all. Or at least until the teacher called him out.

It started rather normally.

'Mr Kimura?' Mrs Kakon asked, looking up from her own notes. 'Do you have anything to add?'

The boy in question started. Badly. Normally, one would assume from that sort of reaction that they hadn't been paying attention, however the rest of his reaction didn't quite fit. One would expect, when caught in the act of not paying attention, they would perhaps blush, stutter or show some other sort of sheepish embarrassment, or if they were the more, persay, delinquent type, simply grin sheepishly or the likes, and when the teacher would repeat the question, either uncomfortably perclaim their ignorance, actually answer the question in a rare occasion, or if they were the latter type, give some sarcastic remark that would earn them a detention.

Koichi, to _my_ utter surprise at least did neither. He just, once he recovered from the surprise, shook his head in a negative reply.

By then, the rest of the class was staring. No doubt whispering would have started up at that point, but the blonde in the middle row, Zoe Orimoto, was waving her hand as though she had something she wanted to say…or ask. Takuya would have said something immediately, without bothering to stick his hand up, if he wasn't busy glaring at someone in particular, a boy who looked slightly burlier than the rest of the class and who was passing a note to the pair in front of him. The two boys, one with hair sandy brown and the other black, stifled giggled behind their hands.

'Is there something you two find amusing?' Mrs Kakon asked mildly.

'No ma'am,' both boys grinned, both pulling rather convincing poker paces.

It was obvious she didn't believe them, but the note had been tucked well out of sight. To be honest, I hadn't seen it at all. I only knew about it because it had somehow wound up in my literature text. I had taken one look at the derelict mouse and tossed the scrap into the bin. Or I had tried to. Takuya had noticed the note and turned it into mince meat.

Getting back to the previous topic, Mrs Kakon finally turned to Zoe, who immediately took her permission.

'You said that the emperor in the feudal period was kept to a _de jure_-' She said that the latin way, _de iure_, which brought about quite a few titters which she haughtily ignored, continuing. '-figurehead ruling position. Could you explain more about that?'

The teacher smiled and launched into an open discussion, with people taking notes again, earlier attention diverted. And that was how the remainder of the period passed, ending with a brief rundown of the plan for the remaining three weeks that would be spent on this topic. The point of the initial period of discussion, she repeated (probably for my benefit and anybody who didn't pay attention the last who knows how many times she's said it this year), was to get a feel of how each student stood with the topic, and what areas appealed to the class at a whole.

That had apparently stuck in Takuya's head however, as he hung around while everybody else shot off to get changed, and jumped into place beside the raven haired boy.

He jumped. Again. Seriously, he _was_ acting rather skittish at that point in time, so I guess you couldn't really blame the more vindictive people for getting a good game out of it. But just because he hadn't contributed to _one discussion-_

Those were my thoughts at that point in time in any case. They were on the way to changing though as I listened to the one-sided streamline of conversation.

To be honest, I either wasn't listening to or have forgotten the first part of the conversation, if you could really call it that. It had sounded rather personal, so I had somewhat zoned out. What I do remember started with a discussion about camp. Every year level had one once a year, and it just so happened that the sixth graders had there's in October, but everyone for some reason started planning by August. Near the water, seeing as the weather wouldn't be quite too cold by then, but not too hot that we'd all be sweating. The cost weren't a part of the school fees, so students who didn't want to or couldn't afford to go saved the yen that otherwise went towards it. I actually hadn't known about that until my father had decided that I would be going and payed the fees, signed the forms, and sent them back to school before I could argue.

It began, as far as I payed attention, when Takuya asked if the other was coming to camp, then, realising he had missed the memo (it had been announced on the last day before the break) and launched into an explanation.

Koichi didn't say a word. Not that he had the chance, so that wasn't too strange and all, except when Takuya paused at the question again, clearly awaiting an answer, all he did was give a minute shake of his head.

It seemed normal, to Takuya at least, because he pressed on without missing a beat.

'Come on. You've got to come. Who's going to keep me from getting into trouble or lost or-' He broke off expectedly as if he had expected some sort of a response. It was a bit of an odd time to wait for one, but I suppose he knew better where to expect responses if the pair were actually friends. 'I was sort of expecting you to interrupt at that point. Like maybe "fine, I'll go. Just stop blabbing!" You said that once, remember. Or grin and say "you've convinced me". Or "I'll go, but you'd better watch your sleeping bag otherwise you're going to wind up with shaving cream or spiders-' He froze and shuddered. Apparently arachnophobia. '-in there".' Another pause. 'As if you'd _actually_ say that.'

It was only because we were both staring at the boy behind us that we sure him draw into himself ever so slightly.

'Koichi?' Takuya's voice suddenly took on a hesitant and somewhat worried voice. 'Are you okay? You're not sick or something are you?'

He shook his head, looking somewhat tense. Uncomfortable about something, and a little…distressed. Of course, we found out exactly what later on, but at the time, we were both bewildered. Well, Takuya was. I, not knowing the guy, was mildly curious at best, or so I told myself. Truth be told, despite the fact that I'd give anything not to care, there were times where I couldn't help it. And it tended to make me a little snappy, especially if someone should call me out on it.

But despite that, I'm typically good at reading people. Most people anyway. Some people seem to think it's from my martial arts training. That's not necessarily true though; there are people that have trained for years and couldn't tell a bluff from a truth. They're just good at getting out of the jams that can get a person into. It's one of those apparent stereotypes that manages to worm itself into civilisation. There are a lot of ones that are instantly proven false; the blondes are dumb one fell today, amongst other times. Zoe Orimoto was one of the few who had contributed to the discussion till the end, even if her Japanese still contained a foreign flare. It turned out that accent was Italian, but her Japanese was good enough to make that hard to pinpoint…unless you were looking for a reason to exclude people.

She was also a friend of Takuya's as well (we got somewhat acquainted over the break, and I must say she had certainly been more tolerable than a certain goggle-head, though she seemed to think we were on our way to being best buds…which was actually correct, fortunately or unfortunately), and she was waiting impatiently, and a little worriedly, at the door to the changing rooms, though she didn't get the chance to say anything when the black haired boy slipped past her, looking a tad upset, though he hid it rather well.

Zoe immediately rounded on Takuya.

'What the hell did you say?' she hissed with enough venom in her voice to take down a dragon, metaphorically speaking of course.

'N-nothing,' Takuya squeaked. And I mean squeaked. Literally. 'I swear I didn't.'

'Don't give me that.' Her glare intensified. 'I could hear you talking from the other end of the hallway. Now what did you say?'

When Takuya stuttered uselessly, she rounded on me.

'He just asked if he was sick,' I answered flatly, starting to see why the question may have bothered him. Sort of. I was missing a lot of information at that point.

Zoe obviously knew more, because Takuya was suddenly sprouting a growing lump on his head.

'You idiot.'

'Why?' he whined, sounding completely pathetic, to be honest. 'What'd I say?'

The girl just face palmed her head in disbelief.

'His mother _died_ because she was sick and couldn't afford the treatment till it was too late,' she enunciated carefully, as if she was trying to drill the words into the other's brain. That second part was news to me, though the first part had been mentioned in the special assembly.

But I imagined it would have been rather tactless to comment at that point. Not that I needed to, because Zoe had realised and begun to fill me in. After a brief argument with, surprisingly, Takuya.

'Well, Koichi's parents divorced when he was –'

'I don't think Koichi would like us giving out his life story.'

She glared at him. 'How do you expect people to get along when there are secrets everywhere?'

'There not secrets,' Takuya held up his hands. 'There's a such thing called trust too.'

'Trust comes in many forms.' Zoe crossed her arms at that point. 'Besides, this part is public knowledge…mostly.'

'That's true.' And Takuya, 0 to 1, was forced to let it go.

'Thank you. Anyway, as I was saying, Koichi's parents divorced when he was two, and he's been living with his mother. They weren't well off financially, seeing as his mother didn't have much of an education, single, divorced and all that.'

She paused, somewhat imploringly, and I nodded to show I understood. Woman in high paying jobs was rather taboo, especially divorced ones. And even more so, ones who were raising up a child (or children) by themselves.

'Well, she's been sick for awhile. Pale and dizzy and stuff. But she always tells us not to worry, though Koichi worried anyway. Recently, she was dating this guy, a business associate in one of those merchandise chains, and they married in the spring.'

'That was not public knowledge,' Takuya interrupted. 'We only know that because we're his friends and were at the wedding.'

'Oh yeah.' She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly, before continuing anyway. 'There's a bunch of rumours going around from there, which I'm sure you've heard.'

Yeah, I had. Mostly the evil-stepfather murdering the innocent woman and abusing her child.

'I take it that's not true,' I said.

'Of course not,' they both replied hotly, before staring at each other.

'As far as we know,' Takuya said. 'He gave the hospital the money they were demanding, before marrying her in fact, but by then it was too late to do anything. It was too late.'

Neither one of them cried or anything, but both looked rather sorrowful. Evidently, they had known the little family for years.

'I still don't get it,' Takuya said eventually, staring at Zoe, who growled now, sounding like Ai when she was annoyed (my dog, in case you didn't know).

'I seriously doubt he wants to be reminded of that,' she sighed, rubbing her brow. 'His grandmother died recently too remember?'

'Damn,' he muttered. 'I had forgotten about that. Gives that 'curse' rumour some stock, doesn't it?'

'More or less so with you beating him up.'

'Which is less than you would have done.'

They went on for a bit after that, in which I decided it would be wise to leave them and get changed, seeing as we were going to be late otherwise.

Once I got outside, I found them both staring at me.

'What?' I asked, a little annoyed. I hated being scrutinised. I still do.

'Does it bother you?' Zoe asked quietly.

I had to think about that for a moment. Yes, it did bother me, but not in the way they were asking.

She suddenly grinned, nodding at Takuya. Seriously, was I that easy to read?

'Look,' she said. 'We may not know you for that long, but the fact that we haven't scared you off yet means enough that we can trust you. I know we didn't get the chance to see Koichi all hols, so his judgement is still up in the air, but he's got no reason to not like you. And goodness knows we all hate being out of the loop.'

To be honest, these were the two strangest people I had ever met.

Make that three, because I noted as time progressed, when the few people who talked to him asked a question, they never received a verbal reply. And Takuya and Zoe were both worried by the end of the week.

Somehow or other though, he managed to not make it as rude as one would think. He wasn't ignoring people or anything, or slipping from a half finished conversation. Sometimes, he may as well have, for all most people noticed. Mostly, it was our peers doing the ignoring. Takuya and Zoe engaged him though, where they could, and eventually, I started pitching in too. Forget I didn't know him; it didn't seem to matter. Forget I was trying not to get close to people; they always left (although these two, three, made it impossible in their own way, but I'll explain that later). But I was curious. What exactly was he trying to do? And did he even realise it?

I didn't have an answer then. And I don't have a proper one now either. It's a matter of perception in the end. You ask that damn psychiatrist though, and she'll tell you something along the same lines as what I hypothesised. That doesn't make me feel any better though. She might as well have taken a butcher's knife to the world, his world. But despite the fact that I wouldn't ever let her near me, I also knew that sometimes, people needed that slap on the face. Goodness knows I did. Even if it was a rather drawn out slap.

And if you're wondering how I remember the exact words, please don't ask. I just happen to have a sharp memory. And no, I didn't have help. The only other person who knows the whole story anyway is Koichi, and he wouldn't even tell _me_, let alone anyone else. It's not that he doesn't want others to know, and learn from these things. He just doesn't want to be the one who says. He never was much of a talker. Sometimes I wonder if he's ashamed or something. He shouldn't be though. Everyone reacts to death, after all, in their own way. And the rest of the world didn't help. Call that immature if you want, but it's a plain hard fact.


	3. The Typical Stereotype Mouse

Author's Notes

Not much to say again, 'xcept enjoy. And anyone want to guess what the next chapter's called? Hint, I've already mentioned it.

* * *

><p><span>The School Project<span>

AU-It all started with a new school, and a certain student. He never talked, never fought back…it was discerning to say the least. Then I was paired in a school project with him, and found out quite a bit about him-including the fact that he was my brother.

Kouji M/Koji & Kouichi K/Koichi

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Family

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 3<span>

The Typical Stereotype Mouse

Some people can be real jerks. Seriously. They treat a guy like they're invisible for most of the days…save when they're bored out of their mind and need a scapegoat. But I must also say I'm not the most patient person in the world. And someone not talking up and letting themselves be rolled over was seriously biting into it.

Especially since my…let's just say frosty attitude, though between Takuya, Zoe, Koichi and another two boys I'll introduce later, that's pretty much nothing, had, in combination with an early "friendship" with Takuya and Zoe, the former being at odds against the "socially important" people and the latter being half Italian and therefore an outsider, had resulted in me only having effectively two friends at that point in time. And these two were the exception to what I just outlined.

But at the same time, I had to admire how determined and stubborn those two were. Really, I did. The most they got out of their efforts were a week's suspension on Takuya's path (Zoe was smarter) and a small, sad and somewhat dismissing smile.

That last one really had my curiosity. It seemed like he appreciated the sentiment, wanted it, but at the same time, didn't. And I hadn't been the only one who had arrived at that conclusion.

'My guess he's being his normal selfless self,' the female blonde had sighed, once the topic came up. 'He probably thinks he's a bother or something like that. He _would_.'

She looked around the cafeteria, probably trying to pick out the raven haired boy in the crowd, but Takuya soon enough showed up at her elbow, shaking his head.

'Not here,' he said, the same moment Zoe started and almost tipped her soup all over him.

The brunette grinned, amused and catching the tray before the girl did lose her lunch…and her temper, at his expense. 'I take it I startled you?'

'Nah,' Zoe replied sarcastically. 'You think.' Her tone went back to normal. 'Where is he then? Library?'

'That'd be my guess.'

Apparently, he loved books. Every time he wasn't to be found, he'd normally be curled up with one. Even more so during that phase it seemed.

Not that time though.

'You'd be wrong,' I said, looking over at a table beside us.

'Huh?' They both stared at me. In answer, I just pointed at the table. I think I put off the air of being irritated or annoyed or something similar, because both had exchanged worried glances over their lunches before looking in the direction I had gestured towards. To be honest, I wasn't really either of those things, but I think my expression automatically adapts that so-called blankness when I'm refraining from showing something else.

Something about what they were talking about made me angry. Funnily enough, it wasn't the exact same bullet point that angered the pair across from me. But it was close enough.

All three of us sat in silence for a moment. We didn't need to of course; the cafeteria wasn't so loud that we couldn't have heard them while carrying on our own discussions. They were talking loudly and clearly enough after all.

I may be a little…cold and callous at times, but I absolutely cannot stand for others picking on somebody who cannot fight back. That includes talking about them where they cannot even hear, regardless of the possibility that someone may or may not inform the relevant parties. That, to be honest, can sometimes get me in to trouble; I'm no better than Takuya in those sorts of situations, no matter how it pains me to admit that. We're very different, Takuya and I. We're best friends, and yet, buried under all that, we're jealous of each other. Though we'll never admit it to the other's face.

Which explained the expression. Well, mine anyway. Zoe's looked perfectly neutral; how in the world did that girl _do_ that? And Takuya…he just looked pissed. Though he always did when it came to those guys.

'Hey,' Zoe said loudly, and quiet unexpectedly. 'Either of you two boys seen Fruits Basket?'

I shook my head. Takuya nodded.

'Remember Yuki Sohma.'

Takuya grinned. 'The heart-throb of the girl population.'

She scowled almost playfully at him. 'Not every girl,' she pointed out, before continuing with her original point. 'He's the mouse from the 12 Zodiac. The envy of many guy and the affection of quite a few girl.'

I saw the point there, but Takuya was frowning. There was another point I hadn't noticed. And neither had she.

'You're forgetting the whole Akito thing,' he whispered quietly, stealing another glare at the other table.

She blushed. 'Oh yeah.'

I figured I'd probably be better of reading or watching it myself than asking. In the end, I had actually did neither in the end. I just read a summary online. I don't really have the patience for long winded stories like that. It's a little ironic, since I'm telling you one myself. A lot of the time, what we like and what we do aren't exactly congruent. If they always were, I doubt we'd be human.

For those of you not familiar with the story, the Chinese Zodiac is based off a legend about a banquet. In it, a bunch of animals race each other to get to the God's banquet. The rat tricks the ox and wins, riding on his back. The cat comes last and doesn't get a place at all, thus being booted out of the zodiac. Now, if that wasn't bad enough (I'd say death is about as close as you can get), the Fruits Basket story goes like this: there's a family cursed with the Zodiac, so different members take on different animals in the legend. One, Yuki Sohma, is the rat/mouse (I think they say rat but the image looks more like a mouse; rats are bigger and more pest-like. Mice actually border on cute). The Akito that Takuya mentioned is the "God". And she (even though she paraded as male through most of the series) had some serious existential issues and took them out in rather sadistic ways, considering she was the head of the family and all. Twisted the mouse's mind, made him feel he was no-one.

That's where most of the images for the stereotypical mouse come from too. Or rather, the image was based off those stereotypes since I think they're some of the die hard ones. The lack of speech was an attribute as well; of course, the storyline takes place quite some time after the main "torture", so there's some progress.

Getting back to the current discussion going on at the neighbouring table, they had mentioned something about a mouse hiding under a stairwell. I only knew one mouse and one stairwell where that mouse would be able to fit under within school grounds, and it seemed Takuya and Zoe had come to the same conclusion as well. Takuya actually began to get up and march somewhere, either to the table, who were now teasing the mousier aspects of their scapemouse, or the stairwell under question, but Zoe quickly seized his shirt-tail and forced him down, stuffing a chunk of sprouts into his mouth so he couldn't talk before reprimanding him.

'Don't make a scene,' she scolded. 'Do you want to get expelled in your final year or something?'

Takuya quickly swallowed, glared, and answered with a simple 'no'.

'Besides,' she continued, lowering her voice. 'It's right next to the staff-room.'

'…oh yeah.' He looked between the table, then back at her. 'That's true. I'd forgotten.'

At least he got the problem this time.

Zoe just shook her head, blonde hair tumbling around her shoulders, before finishing lunch. 'I wish we knew how to help,' she sighed, getting up and disposing her tray, the two of us following (I hadn't finished my lunch and neither had Takuya, but Zoe didn't seem to want to wait around) her outside. 'I don't get it.'

Takuya plopped onto the green grass in the mercifully deserted shade. 'What's to get? His mum's dead and he's still getting over that.'

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at that. 'He's old enough to respond better than that,' I said flatly. 'Besides, if he is mourning, this is too long. It's been two months.'

Zoe looked at me, then at Takuya. 'Could you have any more tact? She asked sarcastically, before her green eyes locked with Takuya's brown ones. 'But he does have a point. Only…'

'You've got no idea.' Takuya groaned. 'Great, where does that leave us?'

I frowned. I had tried to pretend I wasn't interested in their whole issue, but I was literally dying of curiosity. 'You mentioned a grandmother?'

'Oh?' Zoe's green eyes widened. 'She died about…two years back?'

She looked to Takuya for confirmation, who nodded. 'Same thing his mum died of. His grandfather died when he was four,' he added. 'Some army thing. No-one really talked about that. And then there was his only uncle when he was…seven or eight. I forgot. Motorcycle accident.'

'And the cat,' Zoe added solemnly. 'Now that you mention it, that's a lot for one kid to watch die. Okay he didn't literally see his grandfather die, but from the way he talked about that hat, he _adored_ him.'

'But he sat at his grandmother's deathbed,' Takuya continued, hesitantly looking at the female, for traces of tears I think, not that there was any. She was strong; I'll give her that.

'He was obviously here when his-' Zoe broke off suddenly, laughing a little bitterly. 'How can we just talk about this?'

'We have to,' Takuya said firmly. 'This is important.'

I had just listened to that exchange, having had nothing to add. To be honest, part of me had been thinking of my own mother and how she had passed away in a pandemic when I had been two (or so my father had originally told me).

'Koji?'

'What?' I snapped automatically, blaming it instantly on reflex as Zoe's expression looked somewhere between a recoil and a snarl at ungratefulness.

'Care to share your thoughts?'

'Oh.' I paused, wondering, before I just decided to come out and say it. It was only fair after all; they had told me quite a bit about themselves, ranging from Takuya's little brother Shinya and all his "bratty" escapades to Zoe's most embarrassing moments as a toddler. I hadn't told them all that much. Certainly nothing as personal as my most embarrassing moments; the most I had said was that I had a stepmother. They hadn't asked what happened to my real one.

'My mother died when I was two,' I said eventually, watching as Zoe raised a hand to cover her mouth in horror and Takuya lowered his bangs. 'It's okay. That was years ago.'

'But still,' Zoe breathed. '_How_?'

I shrugged as emotionlessly as I could, but it had still hurt slightly to answer. 'Pandemic.' It hurt slightly more to write that down, because I know it's a lie. Still, to be honest, I'm glad it was a pandemic and not an accident. An accident would have meant it was somebody's fault. Some innocent taking guilty blame. Or being blamed.

'I can't say I understand buddy,' Takuya muttered, sounding far less like his cheery self in serious conversation. 'I've never had anyone close to me die. My grandparents are climbing up the nineties.'

'So are mine,' Zoe agreed, brushing her hair aside and watching us finish our lunch. Her eyes narrowed slightly in understanding. 'Does that have anything to do with why you were so adamant against Takuya initially?'

'Hopelessly,' Takuya grinned. 'I knew you wanted friends deep down.'

Zoe just waved her hand, though I forgot what she said after that. Whatever it was, I never heard her say something like that again, though I do remember Takuya's face going bright red in embarrassment. I wish I did remember; good blackmail material, and when you're friends with someone like Takuya, that always comes in handy.

Zoe took the conversation back on track after that, taking my silence for an affirmative. Which it was. Unfortunately, it appeared I _was_ that easy to see through. At least when it came to her. And Takuya.

'I wonder,' she began, before shaking her head. 'That's a crazy thought. Koichi's not that stupid.'

'Huh?' Takuya blinked. 'What?'

'Well…' she looked embarrassed now. 'I was thinking that maybe Koichi was thinking the same thing Koji was.'

'Which is?'

She looked at me. 'It's your experience,' she said. 'You tell.'

It was only because I knew they would not lecture me on it that I told them at all. 'Everyone leaves,' I had said then, a bit of ice in my tone that even I could detect. 'It's a fact of life. Easier not to let people in at all than get close and get hurt, or hurt others.'

'Which is stupid,' Zoe jumped in, much to my relief. I really didn't like talking about personal things, especially present issues. 'Koichi knows well enough we won't leave him alone.'

'Only nothing's worked,' Takuya groaned, fidgeting with the empty tray. 'Mum's complaining he hasn't come for dinner lately, but he just doesn't stay in one place for long enough.'

'Sounds to me like he's running away,' I interjected, just as the bell rung.

I got two rather comical looks as we made our way to our next class.

It was one of the few elective classes where we were separated from our normal form class. I was doing material technology that trimester (not my first choice, but the woodworks class was full and I already had done computer tech at my old school). Takuya had somehow gotten into woodworks. Izumi was doing design.

Koichi happened to be in my class though; he had done design last semester. Today's task was a bit of an odd one, and rather…appropriate, considering what I'm telling you about. We were given an open box basically, asked to create an animal of our choice with the materials available.

I created myself a wolf. Or rather, I tried to. I'm not very good at art, especially when my creativity came into play. To be bluntly honest, my "wolf" looked horrifying. And not the scary story werewolf horrifying, but bad craftsmanship.

I tossed it on my desk after half an hour, some cotton balls sewn together with some beads acting as the eyes and nose, and wire being the ears, spine and legs. Couldn't figure out a way to do the pores.

I looked around a bit after that. There was a brunette in front of me who was doing a squid, which was a little…gross. Her artwork seemed as bad as mine though, thankfully. The boy next to her was better in that aspect, but I recognised him from that table, and from homeroom as well. I found out later he actually had a personal vendetta against Koichi, but I hadn't known it when I saw the rodent in his hands, taking shape. Unfortunately, I saw a few more people from that table (I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed them earlier), then in the corner seat, Koichi himself. And of all the ironies, he was making himself a cat.

Actually, he had already made the cat, a rather impressive one with intertwined wires, sort of like the ones you find in some gift stores. He was going over the silver with a black marker, permanent I assumed otherwise he'd just get black ink on his hands and no accomplishment. The eyes, like mine, were beads, but he had obviously made a better choice; I could see the blue eyes staring from here.

He shoved it into his lap before the teacher could see it though. She hadn't noticed the movement, simply gesturing at the time (there was ten minutes till the end of period) and moving on to the next student).

It was a rather ironic image. Surely he was aware of what was said about him? And he didn't say or do anything, as far as I was concerned. All he had done in relation to the talk was, after a comment that had throughly pissed Takuya off enough that he made to take a swipe at the speaker, his own hand had shot out and grabbed it. He had let go by the time the goggle-head's senses had realigned themselves. And that had helped little at all.

I had to admit, so far, not knowing him that well at that point in time, the mouse stereotype seemed to fit quite well. Typical mouse being chased down by the cat. The real irony came from the fact that _he _had been the one to make the cat.

I hadn't put it together though. Nor had anyone else. And we'd all had the facts, staring and laughing in our faces.

And two months since I started at Jiyugaoka Elementary School, I was yet to hear Koichi's voice. I had spoken to him…somewhat. But nothing that could pass for even a one-sided conversation. But all that was about to change soon, once the ball got rolling.


	4. The School Project

Author's Notes

Come on guys, it wasn't that hard. I would have thought the title of the actual fic was the first thing people would say. *Points at title* See?

On another note, here's a joke I found rather good in a book I was reading: Why did Mr Stupid tiptoe past his medicine cabinet?

Okay, about the book they're studying…I have no idea what they read in Japan for sixth grade Japanese. The one I used is the one we're studying in Modern and Contemporary Literature (translation). That doesn't mean it's an overall difficult text; I read Macbeth in sixth grade then studied it in year eleven, and then there's Great Expectations that our year seven teacher recommended and I'll be studying formally next year, and…I'm getting off topic. Just ignore the mentions of stuff inappropriate for sixth graders. It's easier for me to formulate work on a debate for something I'm familiar with and that's the only Japanese book I've read. There nothing explicit in there though. But let's just say it's a abridged version; that's how we studied Oliver Twist in year nine.

Enjoy. Up next: A Home Calling

* * *

><p><span>The School Project<span>

AU-It all started with a new school, and a certain student. He never talked, never fought back…it was discerning to say the least. Then I was paired in a school project with him, and found out quite a bit about him-including the fact that he was my brother.

Kouji M/Koji & Kouichi K/Koichi

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Family

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 4<span>

The School Project

'We're finishing with After the Quake soon,' Mrs Kakon announced one day. It was a little unexpected, since there were still two stories to go: Super-frog saves Tokyo and Honey Pie. But it turned out it was an assignment alert; I had just missed the last one, and as my old school had been studying different texts, I had been exempted from it.

But as she proceeded to explain the assignment, the collective groans she had received turned into rapt attention. I couldn't blame them either; it was rare for an assignment to not be an essay or report of some sort. I had originally thought it was the teacher, but all the sixth-graders were doing this project it seemed. The art class in the afternoon had been buzzing with the news.

'You may not be aware,' she said. 'But Super-frog saves Tokyo and Honey Pie have been adapted for the stage by a man called Frank Galati. So, instead of writing a report on the text, you'll be split into groups of three, given one of the two short stories, and you'll be debating against another team-'

She broke off here to look specifically at a few excited boys. 'I will be choosing the groups,' she interrupted calmly, ignoring the (tamed) reactions she got. 'So don't expect to be with your friends.'

Oh great was the first thing I thought. The first time I'm actually getting along with a segment of my class, chances are I'm not going to wind up with them. Mrs Kakon can be very observant. She can also be a little deceptive.

'You'll be debating,' she continued on, as though she hadn't stopped. Most teachers had a way of doing that. 'On whether the performance does justice to the written text.'

It was an interesting, but also a tad difficult.

'It will be your own responsibility to reread understand both short stories, but more so the one you will be debating on. Today, we'll be watching Super-frog Saves Tokyo. Group assignments will be given out at the end of class.'

Which meant essentially everybody had to pay attention to the video playing on the projector and take notes. Theoretically speaking, everybody should be familiar with the story, as Mrs Kakon likes us to have read the texts we study before going through them again in class so we can look at the broader themes. But normally, there was at least one person, and not always Takuya surprisingly enough, who had not.

I looked at my assignment as soon as I got the slip of paper. Honey Pie. That was good; I didn't like the other one too much. We were arguing that the performance does _not_ do justice on the written text. I agreed; you know when sometimes you wind up being on the side you disagree with? A bit of a disaster if you can't keep that bias out. Only, I'm not entirely sure what Mrs Kakon had been thinking with the group assignments.

Takuya? How did that happen? I wondered for a moment if I had read the wrong section, but looking at the list again showed me my name highlighted at the top. I had to wonder if he would even do any work, before I realised he was standing in front of my desk, with Mrs Kakon who had finished handing out the slips.

'I trust you have no problem with this arrangement,' she said, smirking slightly as I glared at the brunette behind her, before returning to her face. 'Rest assured Mr Minamoto that Mr Kanbara will do his share of the work…this time.'

'This time?' I repeated sceptically.

Takuya just rubbed a mat on the back of his head as the teacher replied.

'He only seems to do his share of the work when he's working with Mr Kimura.'

I almost asked what that had to do with me, before I read the rest of the paper. And sure enough, Koichi's name was under Takuya's.

So for the last two minutes where tables were abandoned (mostly) and students arranged themselves to talk or complain, I just sat and thought quietly. I was never one to get something productive done in this atmosphere anyway.

Why had she put Takuya and I in the same group, knowing we were friends? If Takuya didn't work with other people (and I don't doubt her when she said that; he was a little expressively stubborn with most people) except with Koichi and Zoe, wouldn't it have made more sense to put those three in a group, rather than tossing me in. Unless she was trying to see if we could work together?

I almost snorted at that idea at the time. That would happen when pigs fly; we tended to disagree quite a bit. Before I rethought that notion. Once we got past that initial argument, no doubt we'd have a lot better points and a stronger argument. One thing bothered me though at the time, and rightly so. It was a debate. So all three members would have to argue the points, and that meant actually speaking. At that moment, he was reading After the Quake at his desk. From here, I couldn't see what story…not that it really mattered I suppose. But he had to be in a group I suppose, and if he would make Takuya work…

And not only that, she also put Teruo Kagami, that guy I told you about last time (the one who made the mouse in art class) against us, along the brunette who had been sitting next to him, Chiaki Ishikawa, who wasn't so bad except for the fact that the third member of their group was…Zoe.

'What was Mrs Kakon thinking?' Takuya whispered suddenly, breaking my train of thought…or rather, continuing. 'Putting Teruo and Koichi against each other. That's practically asking for-'

The bell went at that point, interrupting him. Which meant he had to finish what he had been saying at lunchtime. After we got past Zoe's rant about Chiaki.

'Lucky you two are working together,' she muttered, folding her arms. 'And with Koichi too. Why'd I get left out?'

'Seriously,' Takuya said, repeating himself partly. '_What _was Mrs Kakon thinking? You and Chiaki in the same group? Me and Koji in the same group? Koichi and Teruo against each other?'

'At least they're not in the same team,' Zoe agreed. 'Only, once you and Koji get onto the same page, your arguments will probably be twice as strong.'

Essentially what I had thought about earlier.

'That's true,' Takuya agreed. 'But Koichi-'

Zoe suddenly looked up, then kicked him under the table. At least I assumed she did, because he was limping for a couple of hours afterwards, and at the time, he jumped and nearly scattered all his rice on the floor.

I followed her gaze, and noticed why she had interrupted him. Takuya however never thought to look behind him. 'Why'd you-' he began, before cutting himself off as he noticed Koichi slip into the empty chair on the four person table they always seemed to claim.

'Don't _do_ that.'

Koichi looked at him for the briefest moment, before averting his gaze to his lap.

'Hey stranger,' Zoe said cheerfully. 'Looks like I'm your opponent for the next two weeks.'

Chiaki suddenly appeared at her elbow, though I think the blonde had spotted her earlier. 'Don't worry,' she said sweetly, standing and gathering her lunch. 'I wouldn't _ever_ go against our friends.'

Apparently, most of the groups were taking the opportunity to discuss further plans, seeing as two minutes winds up being fairly unproductive.

'No worries.' Takuya cheerfully waved her off as Chiaki glared daggers, before leading her to the table she had come from…which was unfortunately crowded. Zoe dealt with that in moments though. The four expelled looked at us a moment, as if they wanted to make trouble, but the teacher on duty sent a warning glare in their direction and they scampered…somewhere.

'Can we go to the library?' I asked. 'It's too noisy here.'

'In a sec,' Takuya said, scarfing down the rest of his lunch, and I really mean scarfing. Luckily, we were both used to seeing that, and luckily neither of us had brought enough to need to do that in a matter of minutes. Koichi actually hadn't brought anything with him at all. I guess I just assumed at the time that he had either already eaten or was planning on eating later.

Takuya however did not. 'Have you eaten?' he asked pointedly.'

Koichi just nodded, which caused the other to grin. 'Just making sure,' he said, patting the other's back, before looking at me. 'Let's go snag the couches.'

As it was, there was a group of fourth graders on them, so we just took a table in the corner. And I noticed Takuya was the only one who wasn't entirely comfortable with that, probably because of the chairs. I liked it because it was quiet. And Koichi seemed fine with it too, more comfortable than the classroom or cafeteria anyway. His posture was definitely more relaxed in any case.

'So…' Takuya began, before staring at me.

'What?'

'How can we know if the performance does justice if we haven't even seen the performance yet?'

I sighed. A perfectly innocent Takuya question.

'You can't wait till tomorrow? Have you even read the story?'

'…yes.'

I looked at Koichi, who simply nodded. Again. But I suppose the question didn't ask for anything more. Nor had anything I remember anyone else asking him.

Apparently, I would have to lead the conversation then. 'Fine, we'll list the main themes, symbols, that kind of stuff, so we know what to look out for.'

'Sounds good,' Takuya agreed, pulling out a piece of paper.

'Takuya, _we_ need to be able to read that too.' His spelling was atrocious.

He looked at the blank paper and pen, then shrugged and slid them across to Koichi. No way he was going to give them to me.

'Does the love story part count?' the brunette asked. 'That guy…what's his name?'

'Junpei,' I responded flatly.

'Yeah him. He's in love with…Sayako? For practically the whole story. But he never had the guts to tell her. They might represent it differently in performance than in writing.'

I looked at the other boy neatly printing it. I had to admit, his writing was neater than mine. And he, unlike Takuya, could definitely spell.

'Anything else?' I asked.

'Aren't you going to add something?' He shot back. Touché.

'He's a struggling author,' I remembered. 'Critics always complained about his endings. Presenting words by speaking them is different to seeing them in writing.'

More writing.

I looked at Koichi. So did Takuya. 'Any ideas buddy?' he asked, a little damply. I guess you couldn't blame him though. All of a sudden, his best friend just stopped talking completely.

So he surprised both of us when he replied. Verbally.

'The box,' he said quietly, so quietly in fact that I barely heard. 'The Earthquake Man. Junpei's dreams. Background.'

Takuya fell of his chair. He had been swinging on the back legs. I just stared at him. Neither of us had been expecting that to be honest, and I couldn't help but wonder if it was because there was no-one else around that he had spoken at all. Because he knew Takuya. But that didn't make any sense, I figured immediately afterwards. He didn't know me.

It didn't work that way though. You couldn't simply eliminate the presence of the person you'd spent the most significant moment of your life with. It was just how something bothered me about him, something that made me talk to him and not push him away even after he made no indication of wanting my company. I noticed though he didn't quite push me away like he seemed to do to other company, especially when I had thrown caution to the winds and started sitting next to him in art class. That had earned a few sniggers, but he had been helpful. Sort of like those elves in that fable sneaking in help when I couldn't see. Funnily enough, I hadn't actually noticed him staring at my first day…not until he had embarrassedly admitted it…but I'm getting ahead of myself.

'Does that last one have anything to do with the rest?' I asked. I don't know why that was the first thing I asked. It just kind of slipped out.

Koichi shook his head, writing what he had said down.

'The box,' I repeated. 'Sala's nightmare right?'

He nodded.

'Why do you think that's important?' I honestly hadn't thought too much on the bear.

'And he wouldn't talk when I asked something,' Takuya grumbled beneath us, but since he was practically under my chair, I don't think Koichi heard him.

'Boundary,' was the one-worded reply. But it made sense. 'Overdramatic.'

He had a point. The nightmares were only discussed in conversation; performance would probably show that nightmare physically.

'And the earthquake man and the dreams. Same thing?'

He nodded.

'How do you represent a dream in a play?' I grumbled, thinking about it. 'Or the past for that matter?'

He wrote that down.

Takuya managed to pull himself onto his seat then. 'The heck?' he exclaimed loudly, prompting me to whack him upside the head.

'We're in a library,' I hissed at him.

'All right,' he muttered, before pointing at Koichi who had his head down over his copy of After the Quake, taking down page numbers and it seemed other points while he was at it. Smart. Would save us the trouble after. 'But why,' Takuya continued, before I cut him off.

'Did you explicitly ask him anything that couldn't be dealt with by a simple yes or no?'

'Umm…' He thought for a moment, before answering with a sheepish 'no'. 'But other people did?'

Koichi peaked slightly through his bangs, but otherwise made no motion that he had heard.

The rest of the lunch period passed rather easily. Takuya and I tossed ideas, arguing over a few. Koichi added a few…in writing though. We only realised when we looked over the list as the bell went.

'We're watching the performance tomorrow,' Takuya said. He enjoyed movies of any kind. 'Should we meet at…your house then? Afterschool?' He looked at Koichi.

If he was surprised at the suggestion, he didn't show it, simply nodding before taking a loose sheet of paper and writing an address on it. He tore the bit off, handing it to me before leaving somewhat hurriedly with a soft bow and a murmur I barely heard, let alone understood. Though that could have been the library suddenly got noisier.

I looked at the scrap of paper, vaguely recognising the address. 'Dad's current client lives somewhere on that street,' I said, surprised. Actually, it got more complicated than that, but I hadn't known. It was a bit far for someone to go here though; maybe he had moved recently. Takuya affirmed as much when I mentioned it. 'Stepfather's place,' he explained.

'Drat,' Takuya exclaimed suddenly. 'I just remembered. Shinya's got soccer practice, so no-one will be able to drive me.'

'Can't you take the train or bus?' I sighed, stuffing my own things into my bag and leaving, Takuya hurriedly following after me.

'No allowance.'

I sighed. 'Well…I think my Dad won't mind driving us. He's got a meeting with that client at four-thirty anyway.'

'Call me tonight then.'

I just sent him a text once I got an affirmation.


	5. A Home Calling

Author's Notes

Name meanings: Masayuki = correct happiness. Kaneko = gold child. And from the first chapter, Alice Kanon : Alice = noble, Kanon = flower sound.

Hehe. No-one answered the joke. It's "so he didn't wake up the _sleeping_ pills."

Teruo is being Mercurymon is this story. Remember, he didn't get along too well with Duskmon. And Chiaki's Ranamon. Her vs. Kazemon.

Enjoy, and R&R. Up next: Book of Truth

* * *

><p><span>The School Project<span>

AU-It all started with a new school, and a certain student. He never talked, never fought back…it was discerning to say the least. Then I was paired in a school project with him, and found out quite a bit about him-including the fact that he was my brother.

Kouji M/Koji & Kouichi K/Koichi

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Family

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 5<span>

A Home Calling

I hadn't been quite sure what to expect as I sat in the front passenger seat of my father's car. We had picked Takuya up, and now we were heading to Koichi's place.

'So, what's the address?' Dad asked me.

I read it off the paper, causing him to frown slightly. 'Now why does that sound familiar?' he wondered, easing his foot off the accelerator as the light turned to green. 'Kouji, can you check my client's address?'

I did. And what do you know? They were the same. It hadn't seemed suspicious or anything then. After all. Koichi's step-father was a businessman. It was probably just a business-related issue. And his birth-parents had divorced, so maybe it was some custodial issues.

Takuya, ever so curious, asked. It turned out it was the second one.

'I don't know any of the details,' Dad said, much to the other's disappointment. I think he watches too many drama shoes. Seriously. 'I haven't met the man yet.'

From the review mirror, I could see the brunette grinning sheepishly, before asking more questions about the job. Dad answered them. He loves giving a speech as much as our back-seat passenger. Most of the time.

There are a few noticeable exceptions. One of them came up soon after.

Anyway, we got there five minutes early, which was good. Not late, not too early. Takuya was squirming from excitement; I guess I couldn't really blame him, it had been a while since he had visited. But I'd never set foot in that place before and neither had my father. Not to say that either of us were nervous. We weren't.

The house was a single storey one, not as big as ours, but it was nice looking all the same. The garden for one thing was quite large, which was a bit of an oddity, though I supposed they were far enough from the city centre to not have the houses squashed together.

Anyway, a well-built brunette answered the door, introduced himself as Masayuki Kaneko, then sent us off to Koichi's room at the end of the hallway as he greeted Dad. Good, I thought. We'd avoid the boring legal stuff…or so I thought.

Takuya opened the door and marched in without knocking, but Koichi, sitting on the floor with a book, hadn't seemed all that surprised. He just nodded to us, got up and put the book away, and when Takuya complained about the lighting, opened the curtains to reveal a rose bed sleeping under his window. And I do mean sleeping; it wasn't rose season, but the sun was sparkling off of them, which made me think they had just been watered.

I looked away from the garden to look at the rest of the room. The walls looked oddly bare, and Takuya was staring at them rather worriedly, making me think there used to be posters or something there. I turned away from the walls, painted a dusty yellow sort of colour, and looked at the rest of the room. The bookshelf was filled with books: texts, fiction novels, a few manga volumes and a cupboard like shelf that was locked at the very top and contained who knew what at the time. I found out later what was inside. And I must say, I was pretty shocked. Takuya took all about four or five minutes to work it out though, but then again, he knows both one of his best friends and said person's room better than I do. He didn't mention it till a little later though, when Koichi was not in earshot, one of the rare times he actually thought something through

On the desk were a bunch of photos with a black cloth draped over them. At least, I thought they were photos; I could make out the shape of frames where the cloth touched, but they could have been something else I assumed. Turned out they _were_ photos after all, and it was quite a shock when the cloth slipped.

The corner beside his bed which Koichi was sitting in was still rather dark, but Takuya, although not looking entirely thrilled, hadn't complained, I decided it was normal. We had also sat in a rather isolated and somewhat dark corner in the library too; maybe he just liked corners. He did, he still does, but it was a little overboard at the time.

'So…' Takuya began. 'Who's being what speaker?'

Somehow, we had actually forgotten it was a debate. Or rather, I had forgotten. Takuya had obviously remembered, and it was a little hard to tell with Koichi, who had pulled out the list from the day before along with the notes he had taken in class and a fresh piece of paper.

A debate was structured around the same principles as most written work: an introduction, a main body which constituted most of the argument, and a conclusion. In a debate, the first speaker normally explained the topic (generally affirmative took care of that), the team, their approach to the topic, then talked about one point (if there was time). The second speaker did a bit of rebuttal, but focused on mainly presenting the team argument. The third speaker did the rest of the rebuttals, and a strong conclusion.

We were negative, which meant the third speaker won't have to have his speech rebutted, and will thus have to leave a good impression. It also meant that all three of us would have to rebut, seeing as the debate always started with the first speaker for the affirmative.

'I want second speaker,' Takuya unexpectedly said, when no-one else said anything. 'Zoe's second for the affirmative.'

I face-palmed my head. 'Which is just why you shouldn't be second,' I groaned. 'I wanted that.'

He stuck his tongue out at me. 'You should have said something earlier,' he teased.

Koichi didn't interrupt us as the two of us…well, argued, to be blunt. Eventually, he gave in and took third, which by default left Koichi as first speaker.

'Teruo's third,' Takuya grinned. 'That's a good thing…provided they get to the podium in one piece.'

'You never explained,' I frowned, not liking to be out of the loop, before turning to Koichi, and admittedly, glare at him. 'Are you going to do your part?'

'Yes,' he replied shortly, probably realising that a nod would not suffice in this situation. At least he would speak when needed, but I have to admit, his silence was getting more and more uncomfortable…even if he did talk, just a bit.

Takuya was also a little quieter than normal at that point (he hadn't been before), so our study session made for quite an awkward one. Somehow or other though, we managed to synchronise our individual notes (and Mrs Kanon was right, Takuya had done his share) and sort out our arguments…somewhat. It could change after all once it was all written up, and Takuya, I just realised, was lucky in the sense that he could do nothing more until both of us had written up our parts. He had to think on the spot though…which I figured wouldn't be a problem for him.

It took a few hours to be done with all that, and we were all a little lethargic by then. Or at least, I was, and Takuya's stomach was merrily singing along with his red face once he realised. Koichi had just been lightly rubbing his temple from time to time, as if he had a headache. He had been doing that in classes too. Someone had left a tray on the desk before we came, part sitting on the black cloth, probably for that very purpose so somebody would not have to return to the kitchen and interrupt the two adults if they were in the middle of something. Obviously, that was the most practical place to put it, except for the on the cloth part. Because when Takuya half stood and grabbed it, he accidently pulled the sheet off, revealing the frames…face down.

It would have looked as though Takuya had knocked them down like a row of dominoes, and he initially thought so as he set about straightening them. But I hadn't heard any sounds that suggested that, and looking at Koichi, I doubt he had either. In fact, he hadn't even noticed Takuya fixing the frames and revealing the pictures they had held and hidden.

I looked at the first picture. It depicted an old woman, carrying a toddler on her shoulders, and an old man beside him in a military uniform. Must be his grandparents, I figured, looking at the next one, which depicted the same woman, only older. There was a black frame around that one.

The one after that showed the grandmother again, only there was a slightly older boy on her lap, and a cat on his. It was completely black; this must be the cat Zoe and Takuya had mentioned. Beside that frame was one of his step-father.

Next were two new people. One was a younger male, pinching the other, a woman's cheeks childishly, the bluish hair falling over her face and partially concealing her features. After that was a wedding photo, with the same woman, older, paler, sicker, in a nice sky blue kimono with Masayuki Kaneko standing beside her. Must be Koichi's mother, I thought, before doing a double take when I got a good look at her face, even more so when Takuya, after straightening up a photo of himself, Zoe and Koichi, revealed one (the last one) that looked extremely familiar.

It was the exact same photo that hid behind my family portrait. As in, in my own bedroom. Before quite realising it, I had snatched up that frame (it was actually at the front; Takuya had been working backwards), much to the surprise of my two spectators. Actually, Koichi had half cried out, as if I was taking that away from him…which I kind of did, for a little while. It wasn't like I had meant to though, it's just that…I couldn't really understand why he had _my_ mother's portrait.

My mind started going through all sorts of crazy possibilities. Maybe my mother was a twin. Or a clone. Or maybe it was just a coincidence. I think part of me though, even then, realised it was none of those. Part of me had always known, when Dad had never kept Mum's ashes, and there was no grave, a proper one, that I could find for her. Part of me understood he had lied.

The irrational part of me just wanted to demand an explanation from the kid. But luckily, the rational part which pointed out he probably didn't know much anyway won out. What I did wind up doing was taking the picture from its spot and throwing open the door-

-only to stop short when raised voices came through it.

I could practically feel Takuya's gaze boring holes into my head as every other thought fled. Maybe it was because of the suddenness of the sound (that door was really good at blocking noises), but whatever it was, it achieved the result of a sudden cannon-fire…metaphorically speaking of course.

'I can't believe she never told me!' That was my father. I'd recognise his rather…distinct dialect anywhere. 'Why wouldn't she tell me? I could have helped! I could have payed. I could have taken care of them both when she recovered.'

I turned and looked at the other two in slight bewilderment. What in the world was he talking about?

Takuya looked even more uncomfortable, as if he was in the middle of a family issue…which he really was. He just gave me a shrug. Koichi said or did nothing, but he had stood up and joined us, and his face showed the same surprise that mine presumably did. I only noticed then that the photos hadn't been the only thing covered; the mirror was too.

The other voice I realised must be Koichi's stepfather. And the ambiguity about the topic was cleared up in the next statement.

'Tomoko has always been stubborn. And I think a part of her was afraid you'd take Koichi from her forever. You already took Koji.'

That was the statement that made me freeze. Tomoko was _my_ mother's name. I knew from the marriage certificate Dad had stashed up in the attic during some point or other. I think we were in Chiba then. How did this man know her, and what was that about us?

'How do you know Ms Kimura?' Takuya was still staring. 'I thought you moved here the week she-Oh my god. I'm sorry Koichi. I didn't mean-I mean, that was so tactless-'

'Takuya,' I said, albeit a little coldly, trying to hear the next statement in the silence. 'Shut up.'

'You say that like I chose it,' my father said at the same time, a tad bitterly. 'It's what the law dictates for a mutually agreed divorce.'

_Divorce?_

So that was it. There was no doubt in my mind, hands still clutching the frame from where my mother looked out at me. There was a sudden sense of grief; my mother had been so close, after all those years spent pining for her dead soul, but the week I move so close to her, she dies. And after that time spent wishing I had somebody close to me, somebody that would understand me like no other, I find out I have a brother who would have fit the role perfectly…if we hadn't been split apart and our lives messed up. Then a white hot tongue of anger: my father had lied. He lied to me!

For a moment, I forgot about the two behind me. I forgot about the photo in my hands. The two halves were torn between demanding the truth from my father and being as far away from him as possible.

It was actually Dad who solved that little irresolution. Somehow, all three of us had wound up in the doorway. The other guy, Koichi's stepfather (I could never call him my stepfather, as I had never known my mother, unless you count the baby months that no-one ever remembers), had his back to us, but my, our, father was staring right at us. At me. And I hadn't realised them, but also at the boy behind me.

Takuya mentioned after he had never felt more like a fifth wheel than at that moment.

Dad had suddenly looked uncomfortable. Which to be bluntly honest wasn't the brightest reaction he could have given. At the time, it had seemed that he hadn't wanted me to find out, that he, for his own selfish reasons, had rather I stayed ignorant about that fact. Obviously, that wasn't entirely rational, otherwise I would have realised I was just dumping the blame on a single person. No one individual ever carried the blame for these sorts of things. Even more so, Koichi had been just as shocked as I was, not that I had seen until Takuya, who had the perfect seat to both sets, had knocked it into my brain.

Anyway, that sent my two sides into a decision. At that point, I couldn't stand to be in the same proximity of him. Not caring that it was somebody else's house, not caring what sort of scene I was making or how childish it was, I just turned and ran.

'Koji,' my father shouted after me. I ignored him. Behind me, footsteps followed the same unfamiliar path, and behind us, a door slammed, followed by a shout, but by then, I was too far away to hear it all. I didn't know where I was running, or even why to be honest. All that was there was that white hot anger still sizzling and burning in my chest, driving me away from its cause.


	6. Book of Truth

Author's Notes

The law information: I looked it up awhile ago for Disrupted Melodies, with a few tweaks to fill in holes. Interestingly enough, parental child abduction is not considered a crime in Japan, though you can get arrested for it. Seems Tomoko's fears were well founded.

Enjoy, and R&R. Up next: Fairytale Step-parents. Satomi makes an appearance.

* * *

><p><span>The School Project<span>

AU-It all started with a new school, and a certain student. He never talked, never fought back…it was discerning to say the least. Then I was paired in a school project with him, and found out quite a bit about him-including the fact that he was my brother.

Kouji M/Koji & Kouichi K/Koichi

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Family

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 6<span>

Book of Truth

'Koji! Hey, wait up!'

I stopped eventually, the anger dulling to some sort of emptiness as Takuya came running up to my heels, panting. He stayed a few feet away, near enough to reach me if he dove forward but at the same time not close enough to be touching for any other reason. At the time, I had been thinking about other things, but it was a nice gesture on his part. He knew I needed that space, but at the same time, he wasn't going to let me continue running aimlessly.

I guess I had somewhat underestimated him. But if anyone shows this to him or tells him I said that, they're charcoal.

'Man I hate the rain,' he said suddenly.

I turned and stared a little blankly at him. 'It's not raining,' I said, glaring slightly at the sun grinning at us as it dipped over the horizon.

Takuya grinned at me as I turned back to him. 'I know,' he said. 'That's the point. 'sides from that, at least you don't seem to have an Electra complex. Feel sorry for your father though, since I'd say Koichi does.'

'What?'

You can't blame me, in all honesty. If you don't know what an Electra complex is, it's a neo-Freudian thing where a girl has romantic feelings for her father and sees her mother as a rival. And I, first of all, couldn't see how the guy who hardly plays attention in class and should have no interest in Greek tragedies or psychology, let alone any reason to search them out, would know about that. Secondly, I couldn't see how it related to anything.

'You know,' Takuya shrugged. 'When a guy thinks his mother's perfect or-'

I face-palmed my forehead. He was certainly doing a good job of getting me away from the bush. 'It's when a girl has romantic feelings for her father,' I corrected through gritted teeth.

'Oh.' Takuya thought for a moment. 'Maybe it's Oedipus?'

'That's when a guy hates their father-'

'-which is true. Kind of.'

'-and has romantic feelings for his mother?'

'Um…no. Dammit,' he cried suddenly, and rather commercially. 'What's the term?'

'It used to be called PAS. Parental Alienation Syndrome,' I said. 'But they changed the definition. I don't know what it's called now.'

He stared. 'How do you know?' Though he seemed suspect.

'Dad's court cases.'

There was silence after that. It was like we had been dancing around a bush I had just fallen back headlong into. Which I think was the point.

Takuya interrupted it. He always does.

'You know the law about divorce right?' he asked.

Of course I knew. There were four types of law in Japan: mutual agreement, mediation in family court, decision of family court or judgement of district court. In the latter three, the custody is normally given by the court to the mother, but in the first, they are normally split equally. First born to the mother, second born to the father and so on.

I realised at that point that neither parent had a choice. For my father, it was either take me or lose us both. For our mother, it was either agree to lose me or be torn between supporting two children and herself as a divorced and single mother with a low-paying job, and the fear that one day our father could come along and take them from her forever. Because parental child abduction wasn't against the law here in Japan, and with Dad's position and money and status, she'd likely have never seen either of us again.

Now that that thought had occurred to me, it was a rather scary one.

'See?'

'See what?' I deadpanned, turning away slightly. I was starting to bug him. You could tell…unless you were me and not looking at him.

'Aargh, can you stop being so stubborn?' He yelled. He would have hit me at that point, except he made it rather obvious.

Then he scowled at the faint traces of a smirk showing on my lips, before grinning.

'Okay, now that your head's back on straight, let's get you back.'

He certainly knew how to get something into my head when he wanted to…without even saying it out loud or knowing himself what he was trying to say. But we always bugged each other, even if we came out of it bumping fists in the end.

'Rome wasn't built in a day,' I said. That angry fire may have gone, but I was still rather upset my father hadn't ever said anything.

'I know.' And he gave me his usual cheesy grin. 'But someone had to start building.'

I looked at the photo in my hands, and my mother smiling up at me. It had just been easier to blame my father, that's all. He was there, with all his faults. All I had of my mother was a somewhat God-complex, never having actually remembered her except faint memories of someone signing me to sleep and playing the guitar. The one that stands against the foot of my bed actually.

'You should let him explain.'

'Yeah.'

Takuya dragged me back then. He didn't go on about anything, like somebody else in his shoes would have probably done. Actually, scratch that. He didn't go on about anything relating to my family situation. He did however explain the whole Zoe/Chiaki and Koichi/Teruo thing. The explanation is a little long winded, but the first rivalry is because they're both a tad jealous of each other. It's fading…slowly. But when Zoe was new, she put of a rather 'independent girl' attitude, while Chiaki was one of those 'integrated in a group' kind of girls. Basically, Chiaki wanted to stand out and Zoe wanted to fit in. And they're both rather stubborn girls. But they're getting along a little better, now that Zoe sees Chiaki's standpoint with five siblings (one a mere baby) overshadowing her.

As for Koichi and Teruo, Takuya claims he's just as lost as everyone else. There was just something about each that rubbed the other the wrong way, and no-one could really figure out what it was. To be honest, it didn't take a genius to figure it out though; typical rival relationship, once they had the chance to go up against each other.

By the time we got back, my father was pacing in the living room and Koichi's stepfather (I still can't call him _my_ stepfather) had opened the door.

'Will you be staying for dinner?' he asked Takuya, after nudging me gently to the living room.

I didn't see Takuya's face, but I heard the answer.

'No thank you. I'll just say goodbye to Koichi and call my Dad to pick me up.'

'He's sleeping.'

Already? We couldn't have been gone that long, and before dinner too?

There was a moment of silence, where I just stood at the entrance. Then…

'He _is_ asleep.' Takuya's voice seemed rather…well, concerned. 'It's too early.'

'He has been sleeping more than usual lately.' Koichi's stepfather sounded rather worried as well. 'And he hasn't been eating much.'

'He's not the type to have a big appetite.'

'But this is too little, even for him. I would take him to a doctor, but I don't think it would go down to well, and I'd rather leave that as a last resort.'

'Yep, he hates doctors all right. Well, I'd best be going.'

'You can use our phone if you like.'

'That's okay. I've got my cell. Thank you for having me over.'

He got out of there pretty fast. I guess he doesn't like being a third wheel. Okay, fifth wheel more like, if you want to be technically accurate.

It was only after Koichi's stepfather joined us in the living room and I took a seat on the couch (not the one my father was sitting on), did someone break that particular block of ice.

'Koji, I'm sorry.'

I said nothing.

'I'll go start on dinner,' Mr Kaneko said suddenly, standing up again and leaving us alone. I suppose this discussion was rather awkward for him as well.

'Koji…'

'What?' I asked dully, staring at my father.

Well…he was used enough to me, and knew well enough that if there was no bite in my tone, I wasn't mad…exactly. And that looked good enough for him.

'You understand the law.'

'Yes.'

'You know how far people can go for desperation. It was easier for both our sakes to split the two of you and never say. We're not perfect Koji. Either of us could have been sorely tempted.'

I said nothing again, but this time my father let it go.

'I didn't know, if you can believe that.'

'Why did you lie then?' I asked finally. 'I understand why we were separated, why you two didn't want us seeing each other, but why did you have to say she was dead?'

'Because I know you.' And Dad gave me this long hard look. 'And I knew if I didn't, you wouldn't stop until you found her.'

'Didn't you trust each other?' I muttered, a little bitterly. 'Other families get along by joint custody.'

He just shook his head, and I had to wonder how in the world my parents had gotten married in the first place. Isn't trust the first basis of a relationship?

'It was an arranged marriage,' my father answered in reply to my unspoken question. 'Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. In the end, we simply could not tolerate each other anymore.' He hesitated a moment, before continuing. 'To be honest, children hadn't been part of the plan.'

Great, so we were mistakes. That made me feel _so_ much better.

That was sarcasm, in case you couldn't tell.

I stood up suddenly, looking out the window, half facing away from my father.

'Did Satomi know?'

'In part,' my father admitted. 'She didn't know any more than I did.'

I couldn't really blame her for not saying anything. First of all, we hardly talked if I could help it. And it wasn't her story to tell in any case.

There was another silence, before I eventually broke it. Again.

'What happens now?'

Out of the corner of my vision, I saw my father bow his head. 'I don't know. Legally, I can take Masayuki to court and regain guardianship over Koichi, or I could hand over all claims and allow him to adopt.' He took a deep, noisy breath, and then continued. 'I don't even know which one is right.'

I looked at him; he seemed suddenly years older. Dad's hair was starting to grey I noticed. His shoulders were slumped, but stiff all the same. Mum, my real mother that is, is dead, free from this. The living still carry the burdens.

But who could blame a dead soul except in evil intent?

I crossed the room in quick strides and hugged him quickly. The last time I had did that was when I was eight, when I had made good on my threat to run away, only to return a few hours later to a panicking father bordering on hyperventilation. It wasn't like him to show emotion like that, let alone for somebody capable of taking care of themselves (I don't take martial arts for show), but it turned out that not only had I been wandering around a new neighbourhood in pitch blackness, but there had been a child murderer on the loose. He's dead now. Got caught in a shootout.

I pulled away quickly enough, and sat on the couch once more.

'Either way, will we get to know each other?'

Dad just nodded.

I wondered suddenly how much it mattered. I wanted to know him. But did Koichi? He didn't seem to want anyone's company much, except when it was necessary. And how would we get along? An old kid and a new one suddenly finding out they were brothers, and I had lived with Dad all my life. How would he take this?

'I should talk to him,' Dad muttered. 'He shut himself in his room.'

'It was a reflexive reaction.' Koichi's stepfather had come back into the living room. 'He'll come around.'

'I hope so,' my father sighed, before lifting his head. 'You can certainly cook better than I.'

I couldn't help but snicker at that, earning two odd looks. 'Seriously Dad,' I spluttered, suddenly aroused in amusement. 'You can't cook at all. You burn soup. _Soup_.'

The other man cracked a smile as well. 'Well, today's dinner is rice, Nikujaga, Gyoza and curry.'

Okay, had he known he was going to have guests? Because that's a lot for two people. Actually, it's a lot for four people; maybe he had expected Takuya to stay over.

Turned out he was just worried somebody wouldn't eat something, so he tried to play it safe.

The adults got into a game of chess while we waited, with Mr Kaneko getting up every now and then to check on the food. I just watched them, rather disinterestedly at the beginning but with drawing attention towards the endgame. It was especially interesting how the two seemed to get along okay, as far as things went. Like two work associates passing the time with a simple game. If I hadn't been there, they probably would have gotten some Sake as well. Dad does that with his colleagues sometimes, but Satomi scolds him so he does less of it now.

Koichi's stepfather won in the end, with a bit of a twist Dad hadn't seen coming. He had been too focused on conquering and maintaining control over the middle that he didn't notice the trap in the right corner. But I have to admit, that's one sneaky strategy. But a risky one. Another move, and Dad would have check-mated him.

He pointed us to the table, already set, then went off to wake up Koichi. It took longer than it should to wake someone up I thought, but eventually he came back, the younger boy trailing rather unhurriedly behind him.

'Make sure you eat something,' his stepfather commanded strictly but kindly, ushering him into a chair before taking one, and reminding me (and Dad too I think) of what he had told Takuya earlier.

It was only validated when we started eating quietly. Dad and Mr Kaneko conversed with each other about the latter's business, which I tuned out, looking towards Koichi instead over my rice curry. He was playing around with a few vegetables (I noticed the starchy potatoes were notably absent, as was any meat). It looked like he'd eaten a bit already, but I hadn't seen any food go into his mouth. More likely he had just shuffled his food around to make it look that way. I hadn't seen how much he had originally taken out, and I don't think anyone else could see over the pots and dishes either.

It was no wonder then that he finished quickly and left the table as soon as it wasn't considered discourteous of him to do so. There was the sound of water running in the kitchen, then he returned about ten minutes later with three cups of tea.

Well, he couldn't possibly have been mad…especially when his stepfather seemed a tad surprised at the gesture.

He wasn't surprised about the lacking cup, but I couldn't say the same about myself.

'You don't want one?' his stepfather asked him.

Koichi just shook his head and took the empty tray.

A few minutes later, I heard the bedroom door close again, along with the sound of little pieces of wood falling onto a larger surface.

The photo frames I assumed.

Dad looked concerned.

'Is he sick?'

Just like Takuya.

'If he is, he hadn't said,' Koichi's stepfather replied. 'No ordinary sickness for sure.'

'What do you mean?'

'Well…' the other thought for a moment. 'Ever since Tomoko died, he's been far quieter than usual. He barely says anything to me-'

'He doesn't say anything at all in school,' I interrupted, sensing a sense of failure in the tone. 'Except once for this Japanese assignment.'

He looked at me. 'I hadn't known that. Neither Takuya nor Zoe had mentioned it.'

They hadn't? I had to wonder why. It turned out they thought he had already known. Conversations by assumption. Proves it's sometimes better to double-check these facts.

'What else?' Dad prompted.

'Sleeping more than usual. He quit the soccer team a few months ago, and I know he loved soccer. He never mentioned why either. He's not eating much either, though he never had much of an appetite. And he's not spending hours curled up with a book in the library or watching a movie with his friends. And he put his journals and photos and things in the locked cabinet at the top of his bookshelf. He said he didn't want to look at them anymore.'

Dad stared at me, a funny look on his face. 'Anything else? You do go to school with him?'

I wondered how much they actually knew, and how much was helpful. In the end, I just gave a summary. 'He's pretty distant at school. He avoids people when he can. I hardly ever see him during lunch. People say stuff about him and he never says or does anything in return. And I think he had a headache a few times.'

That was quite a mouthful, and pretty useless as a thread in my opinion, so I couldn't understand at the time why Dad was suddenly getting worried.

'He normally doesn't eat lunch at the cafeteria,' Mr Kaneko explained. 'And he doesn't fight back either. Says there's no point defending himself, because that makes him as bad as the person talking. And he always was rather quiet, far as I know.'

'Have you taken him to see a Doctor?'

He knew the answer, so why was he asking?

'No.' The other shook his head. 'I asked but he won't go, and I can't force him unless it's absolutely necessary.'

'Just keep a close eye on him then.'

They left the topic at that. Dad didn't explain himself till a little while later, but it turned out he wasn't too far from the truth after all. A tad too close than he wanted to be. Than anyone wanted to be to be honest.

But it was one of those things he couldn't just go and confront somebody about. As I said before, every relationship needs trust. But people also tend to underestimate others, especially those they don't know too well. I suppose it was a little bit misleading the way they knew him normally too. Dad wrote it off as paranoia; unfortunately, it hadn't been. The warning was well put however.


	7. Fairytale Stepparents

Author's Notes

Sorry this is a bit short. I realised anything else had to be in the next chapter, so…a little shorter than usual.

Enjoy, and R&R. Up next: Death's Sweet Scent.

* * *

><p><span>The School Project<span>

AU-It all started with a new school, and a certain student. He never talked, never fought back…it was discerning to say the least. Then I was paired in a school project with him, and found out quite a bit about him-including the fact that he was my brother.

Kouji M/Koji & Kouichi K/Koichi

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Family

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 6<span>

Fairytale Step-parents

We didn't talk much on the drive back. Actually, _I _didn't talk at all. Dad talked, only because he got a phone call en route. Something about another job.

I couldn't help but scowl at that. These cases took him away from home more often than they should. I couldn't help but wonder if my parents would have fallen in love if they had actually spent more time together.

Then I remembered Dad was teaching at that time, and studying. He didn't complete his masters in law until I was four.

Satomi didn't say anything after Dad brought her up to speed. On that day anyway. Or the weekend that followed.

In fact, she didn't say anything until I brought up the topic myself.

I came home from school on Monday, with two bits of knowledge. Firstly, the debate dates had been scheduled, and we'd be on the Friday, which meant we'd have to get our speeches coordinated soon. I had finished my piece on the weekend. Second, Koichi was absent from school again, only this time, Mrs Kakon actually seemed surprised.

I supposed he was sick. He did show up on Tuesday after all. But I had asked Satomi for the number, thinking I'd at least tell him the due date, as he probably didn't know and I highly doubted Takuya would remember to inform him.

She looked surprised, but looked through a few papers Dad had left and extracted it. I dialled the number, a bit apprehensively (I just don't like phones, okay?). No-one picked up though, so I just left a message.

'A debate?' Satomi asked, once I replaced the receiver. 'What about?'

'Honey Pie,' I replied, retreating to the kitchen, until she called me back and pointed to the snack sitting on the table.

'The short story?' She looked interested. She would be; she lectured world literatures at the university. That's actually how she and dad had first met, when they're doing their bachelors. Or so my father told me. 'Text against play? What team?'

'Negative,' I said, a little shortly, though I felt guilty right afterward. I know, I mean, knew, she wasn't trying to replace the place of my heart that belonged to my real mother, but she was still trying harder than she should have to for me to accept her. Me, I was just being too stubborn…but there was nothing now. There had been that stubborn block, from what I hadn't known, but it was dissolved now. Along with the reason for it.

'We're arguing the play didn't give justice to the text,' I elaborated.

She nodded, but didn't offer any advice. I was a little surprised at that, but pleased. I didn't like it when others tried to interfere with my schoolwork. Whatever marks I got, they were by myself. That way, I could be proud of them.

She just looked at me, a little curiously. 'You can talk to me,' she said. 'You know that.'

I did know that. That was another thing about me; I just didn't like talking about myself. However Takuya (and Zoe) were somewhat rewriting that.

Some of the other students however…sometimes they made me pretty mad. They knew nothing about people like Satomi.

'The students talk at school,' I blurted out suddenly.

At least she didn't make some stupid comment. I bet Takuya would have. Even Dad would have, but he gets payed for thinking up arguments on the spot so I suppose I can't fault him.

'They don't know step-parents like you.'

Her face didn't change, but her eyes gained a new light. I looked away, a little embarrassed, and by the time I looked back, they were dry. That light however seemed there to stay.

'Thank you,' she said quietly, before returning to the topic. 'Being a step-parent is different than being a normal parent. There's less obligation on the parent towards the child, and some feel like the attention of their partner is divided between an old life and what they desire in the new.'

'They should sort that out before getting married.' I scowled again. I was starting to really not like marriages.

'They should,' Satomi agreed. 'But life is far more complicated at times. You're still a child Koji. When you're an adult, when you find yourself in these sorts of situations, you'll understand…perhaps.' She smiled, a little sadly. 'You may be lucky enough to avoid them.'

It was true. I was still a child. I didn't really understand. Just like I couldn't understand why a parent would kill their own children, or abuse them. Or why a person would break up an entire family then cast the piece that comes to them aside. Or why somebody would just throw their life away. Or all the other nonsensical things that happened in the world. Dad has to deal with some of those; he is a lawyer after all. A lot of these things interfere with the law.

She stood, and I looked at my uneaten snack. Daifuku. Strawberry I realised once I took a bite. She always made strawberry for me.

She liked chrysanthemums, I remembered. And daisies and bluebells. Their anniversary was coming up too. She also like cacti, which I found rather strange…until the lady at the flower shop mentioned they represent endurance. If you're curious, the chrysanthemums represent friendship, cheerfulness and rest, daisy represent innocence, love (familial) and memory, and bluebells, humility. It was rather odd, most women preferred the more lovy dovey kind of flowers. The colours looked so bright when together, but somehow, that girl behind the desk had made them work as if they were meant to be together. Maybe they were.

They're sitting in a vase in the hallway now. It wasn't nearly as awkward as I had thought giving them to her on their anniversary. She didn't make a big deal about it, but both Dad and I could see how much they meant to her. Dad looked proud too. But he didn't make a big deal about it either. He knows that bugs me to no end.

* * *

><p>The next day, we started a new book in English. Ochikubo Monogatari. Another fabled irony in this tale. You know why? Because it's based off the Western tale of Cinderella. The protagonist was abused by her stepmother.<p>

I hated the story for that reason. Sure, I wasn't fair to Satomi for the first three years of her marriage with my father, but she was nice. She was kind. She always went out of her way for us, and she never acted…_anything_ like these fictional step-parents. I was yet to read a story however that showed a step-parent in real light.

Most people didn't seem bothered. There were a few titters in the back as well. No doubt they were amused. Because they knew there was at least one person near them that had a step-parent. They didn't know about mine.

Takuya twisted in his seat and glared at one of them. Teruo in the middle snapped at another, which caused Chiaki to whisper in his ear and Zoe to whisper in hers. It would have turned into a regular Chinese Whispers, but Takuya was just too far away. Zoe said though they were getting along far better. Apparently putting them in the same group hadn't been such a bad idea after all.

Koichi looked somewhat down, which was a bit of surprise, because he normally wore the mask of neutrality. I wondered then if the story had upset him as well; his step-father had been rather kind when we went over. And he seemed good the way Takuya had spoken of him. And Koichi seemed to like him…well, the little I'd seen of them together.

Stupid stereotypes. You'd think people would be more focused on trying to prove them wrong then prove them right.

It was an open discussion, and this time, I stayed silent. Normally, I'd just contribute a little at the end, and otherwise just leaving the chatter to others. This time, I stayed stubbornly silent. So did Koichi, but to my knowledge, that wasn't anything new. He hadn't participated in a single group discussion I had seen…well, heard. Even now. Mrs Kakon does routinely call him on it, but she hasn't managed to have much success yet.

That time, I was the one who got called out.

'Mr Minamoto? Anything you'd like to share?'

'No,' I snapped back, receiving quite a few odd looks in return from my classmates.

She looked at me, before calling on somebody else. I thought I was out of the woods, until she held me up at the end of the lesson.

It wasn't your routinely 'you should participate in class' speech though. It was more one of those 'you should say what you're thinking speeches.'

That's one I really hate. It's not that easy to put stuff into words, you know. Not to mention getting those words off your chest in the right order in front of people you're not really comfortable talking personal matters with. And then there's the whole reason why it's called 'personal' in the first place. She was starting to sound annoyingly like the school therapist (requirement for new students), so I made my escape as soon as I could politely do so.

Nothing's changed. I still hate therapists. Psychoanalysts. Psychiatrists…they can all stay out of my brain. I like everything in there just the way it is. Of course, everybody's different. Sometimes, things go too far to be able to sort out by yourself, especially if you've convinced yourself of something…and someone emotionally connected won't be able to change that.

I hate them even more when they a help where others aren't. Not hate as in 'I want them burnt to cinders' or something like that. More like I hate being useless I think.

But don't we all? In the end, we're all just tiny little humans in a world too large for us, aren't we? We always get so absorbed in one thing or other, that the larger scope gets washed out as the backdrop. Our pathetic little brains, not with the capacity to see even an atom of the world with the naked eye. And I mean that literally.

We're always looking for an abode. But that's something we'll never truly find. Sometimes, I have to wonder, even if we die, will we ever find it? Will there ever be somewhere where we can avoid all the troubles of the world?

I doubt it. We're not the only sort of imperfections. As miserable and melodramatic as it all sounds, it's the plain, cold truth that no-one wants to face up to.

And just because I'm writing this, doesn't mean I do so or not any less. I'm still here, aren't I? That alone proves I'm searching.

But maybe that's not so foolish. I mean, what else are you going to do with life except eternally search for its meaning or else search for the door to let you out?

Personally, the second option scares me. It scares a lot of people. I know it scares Koichi. He told me. I was the first person to know; he is rather difficult to read. There's always something you've missed in that puzzle…but we humans aren't ever that simple.

We're just humans. Plain and simple; simple not.


	8. Death's Sweet Scent

Author's Notes

Now who can figure out the meaning of the title _after_ reading this chapter?

Enjoy, and R&R. Up next: Broken Down

* * *

><p><span>The School Project<span>

AU-It all started with a new school, and a certain student. He never talked, never fought back…it was discerning to say the least. Then I was paired in a school project with him, and found out quite a bit about him-including the fact that he was my brother.

Kouji M/Koji & Kouichi K/Koichi

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Family

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 8<span>

Death's Sweet Scent

We have physical education once a week, every Wednesday straight after lunch. I suppose the idea of that is so we've all got plenty of energy to burn; most students do. Takuya certainly has a blast, seeing as not even a period of running around like a fool (which is what we normally wind up doing) could burn down all that pent up energy. Seriously, where does he get it from? Shame he's so clumsy when it comes to a hand to hand fight. He could at least use it for something useful.

Then again, he claims soccer and baseball are way better than any sort of martial arts which I prefer. We're all entitled to our opinion.

That Wednesday, we were playing…soccer. Joy for Takuya. And a few others who are on the regional soccer team. But the girls weren't too pleased. Namely because our sport teacher hadn't told us about the switch from tennis, and most of them were resorted to running around in skirts. Some of the girls, like Zoe, were however smart enough to keep a tracksuit in their lockers, but most of the others were more focused on their clothes than actually playing.

It was leaning towards your everyday sport lesson, but there were a few hiccups.

The first thing was the team selections. I didn't know either leader well, but most people…okay, everyone really, tended to lean towards their friends and the best players. I'm somewhat mediocre, so it was no surprise I took awhile to be chosen. More surprisingly was that Koichi and Zoe were both quickly snagged. Takuya was a no-brainer, of course he'd be taken first. But it was surprising that two people I never took to be very interested in sports and definitely not good friends with the team leader…which meant they must have been considered good at soccer.

Interestingly, they both were. Defence and attack. Though the most Koichi did was swipe the ball from the other team and hand it over to the nearest person. He didn't seem to want to move from his position near the goalpost. Well…it beat running around without getting anywhere.

We hadn't gotten a chance to talk since that Saturday. Then again, apart from that one phone-call, neither one of us had made an effort to either. I hadn't seen him react at all...though I do remember the door slamming so I have to wonder if that had been him. Even if I went up to him though, I wouldn't have known where to start. I didn't know what he was feeling or how he was dealing. I wondered if he even cared; I couldn't help but stare at him when I could, but he never made even the slightest indication he had noticed.

And on top of that, I wasn't the most patient person in the world, which meant I would probably be liable to bite his head off the first opportunity I got. He had left his speech on Takuya's desk on the Tuesday, who had given it to me to look over. It was well written, I'd admit even at that stage. But it also bugged me he couldn't give it to one of us in person.

Turned out he's the opposite of that. I'd rather talk to people face to face. He'd rather not. But at that point, he had been going out of his way to avoid contact with people.

Anyway, the second interesting thing that happened was the weather. It had started off nice and sunny, but it sure hadn't stayed that way. Which was rather annoying, because the wind was also blowing pollen all over the place. And hay-fever is rather common, even though I don't have it. Fortunately. It does not look appealing to me to have to sneeze my brains out.

The third thing was that one of the guys on the other team had suddenly fallen. Which wouldn't be that interesting except this was the co-captain of the regional team. In other worlds, most people thought him too good to take that sort of spill.

So did he, evidently, because he was one of the few people who had noticed the other person who had fallen. And the first thing he did after spitting dirt out of his mouth was snap at him. 'Hey, what's the big idea?'

Koichi crawled to his feet…sort of, before wavering and losing his footing again. By that time, the sport teacher, Jiro Satou, had gotten over to the pair. 'What's going on here?' he asked. 'Play on.'

Koichi remained on his knees, as did the other guy, whose name I still can't remember. To be honest, I've got no idea why _he_ didn't get up. He seemed fine, especially since the teacher sent him back into the game, which continued again once Takuya swiped the stray ball and struck for the opposite goal.

Zoe came over. I just stayed in my place as Mr Satou helped Koichi to his feet. Zoe quickly said something, which was replied to, then she was dragging (or helping) him off the field.

The ball somehow wound up at my feet. That was the fourth odd thing. Seeing as I hadn't been chasing after it. I just kicked it to the nearest person not wearing a ribbon.

Nothing else happened that period. What did happen was we bumped into Zoe in front of the door to our seventh period class, looking rather concerned and a little annoyed.

'Where's Koichi?' I asked immediately, as others went around us (except Takuya who stopped behind me, a little confused).

'I was hoping one of you knew that,' she replied.

Takuya came to stand next to me and looked at the blonde oddly. 'You didn't try to drag him to the infirmary did you? You should know better than that.'

'Of course not,' Zoe huffed. 'I didn't even mention it.'

'Well, then what?'

Normally, it was the other way around. What worried me was…

'Hang on,' I said suddenly. 'Isn't he in-' I broke off as I looked through the door and noticed he was _not_ in class. 'Never mind.'

'Wait, he's not?' Takuya checked too, before turning around. 'Uh oh.'

'Mr Kanbara.' Mrs Kakon did not sound too amused. 'Mr Minamoto. Ms Orimoto. Is there a reason you three are standing outside?'

'Looking for Koichi,' Zoe said immediately, now looking extremely worried. 'I know the bell's already gone, but he _never_ skips a class.'

The dark haired teacher looked at her, then sighed. 'Does it take three people to look for one?'

'Well…no.' They looked at each other, then at me. 'Good luck.'

'Hey, wait a sec-'

The door shut firmly closed behind Takuya.

You know, at some point during all that, I decided they had set all this up. Only I doubt they'd be able to manage something so elaborate.

After about two months at the school, I knew the general layout. The classrooms. The library. The cafeteria. The computer and science labs. The storage rooms. And the stairwells where somebody could hide.

I looked through all of them. No luck.

I had wondered originally why Zoe or Takuya hadn't decided for look for Koichi. But then again, Takuya had revealed a part of the family situation, forcing me to finish the story off. They probably thought this was a good opportunity for brotherly bonding or something like that.

I wasn't sure how I felt with them trying to helpfully interfere. Let's just hope they're not around for my first crush. Because I'll be kidding myself if I said my hormones were never going to start kicking in eventually. But they can take as long as they want.

I was running out of spaces to look, before I remembered the roof. Now that I thought about it, that was a good place to be skipping class. You can't hear the bell from up there. Which suggested he may not have purposely skipped, but simply hadn't noticed the new period had started.

Only problem was, I didn't know where the stairs were. I hadn't ever needed to, and Takuya hadn't mentioned them. Which meant I'd have to go back to class and ask for Takuya.

Mrs Kakon didn't say anything, just sent him out.

'No luck?' were the first words out of his mouth.

'Would I be asking for you help if there was?' He had a rather annoying habit of stating the obvious. 'I thought he might be on the roof-'

'Good idea.' He took off running suddenly. 'Come on. What are we waiting for?'

Well…at least he led the way. But it turned out those stairs are not only hard to find if you don't know where they are, but are also rather long. So we were both out of breath by the time we got to the top. Especially since Takuya had to run all the way.

'Oh God,' he panted. 'Why are…these…stairs so…long?'

Once he opened the door, I noticed two things. First, the wind was even stronger up here. Strong enough to almost make us both lose our head ornaments: Takuya his hat and me my bandana. Both sets of hands went up to stop them. The second thing was Koichi was on the roof…and he gave us both a heart attack seeing as he was on the other side of the fence.

A lot of buildings, at least most of the taller ones, have safety fences going around them, mainly to stop people falling off them and hurting themselves…as well as saving other unfortunate…well, we can't always call them accidents, because some things are intentional.

What I still can't understand is _why_ someone would constantly climb over that damn thing. It nearly gave me a heart attack seeing him standing on the narrow ledge on the other side, the fingers on one hand somewhat curled around the wired fencing and facing the direction where the sun always rises…something people, especially those who think in a poetical sense, say to be one of the world's few constants.

Takuya unfortunately wasn't quite so placate.

'Koichi!' he yelled, startling the other. And when you're standing on a narrow ledge that only covers the span of just over half the size of your foot (more of the weight, the way he was standing originally, balances on the heels), especially with a slack grip and the angry wind, being startled is not a good idea. Especially when he couldn't keep his footing in phys ed.

He barely screamed as he slipped off the ledge, but his eyes had widened in shock and he had half twisted-what could have been a fatal mistake. Luckily, it was the sort of roof that fell into two parts, so he fell onto the lower roof instead, rolling once, twice, then falling still…and far from the second ledge by the time Takuya made it to the barbed wire and tried to climb over.

'Hey!' I called. 'You won't do any good falling with him.'

'Then what?' Takuya snapped back, turning to glare. Looking into those brown eyes, I realised at that point, no matter how reckless and well, idiotic, he acted at times, not only did he hate being a liability as much as I did, but the lengths he would go for his friends would surpass most people. 'He's my friend.'

'And he's my brother.' And the moment those words were out of my mouth, without thought, they rang true. I had never tried to deny that fact; it for some reason had seemed unavoidable, even somewhat inconsequential with everything else. What had hurt me the most was that my father had lied, and it had been most important to resolve that. The days that passed were enough for me to think, and try to remember a time where I had known a mother, and a brother, but all I got was the sound of a guitar distantly playing, the fragrance of some sort of perfume I still can't recognise and the sound of babies wailing. It had seemed somewhat dreamlike, but at the same time something undeniable. Something, like a river that had always stood there and a paradise on its other side, and I was only now taking the first step across – what am I talking about? Paradise is an age away. Oh, you know what I mean.

You can probably see why Japanese is not my best subject.

Takuya looked at me. Then he climbed down, looking to the still form below us. 'Are you going to climb down there?'

I looked down, searching for a safe path. 'How long has it been?'

He shrugged. 'I don't carry a watch.'

Of course he didn't. How could I have forgotten that? I looked at my cell. Seventh period would be finishing soon. Homeroom wasn't that long in the afternoon; some parents would have already started arriving.

'Oh, I don't know,' I said suddenly. 'This is nothing like I'd ever expected or experienced. I don't know _what_ to do. Just what is going on? Why would he-'

Takuya let me babble. It was quite a switch, normally he's the one chattering on inconsequentially. He still does that, but it doesn't bug me nearly so much anymore. Funny, how much little gestures can change things.

By the time I stopped, I was crying onto his shoulder, much to my embarrassment. But we're all human, we need to let go of that dam we called our emotions at some point or other. And tears are the natural way to do that. So maybe I shouldn't be so embarrassed. Takuya never said a word for that either. He is really one of the greatest friends anyone could ever ask for. Even if we drive each other up the wall ever other hour.

'Hey.' He sounded a bit uncomfortable. I guess between me and Koichi, we sort of put him on the spot. Not the spotlight he was after I surmise. 'Well…I guess you should talk to him.' He shrugged after that. 'I'm sorry. I really wish I could do something, but I just feel so…useless.'

I understood that feeling. We've all felt it at some point or another.

'He needs his family right now. We love him anyway. For you, that love is a consequential. For us, as his friends, it isn't.'

I looked at him, quickly rubbing my eyes with my sleeve before that. 'Consequential?'

He shrugged again. 'It's something he said once. Familial love is consequential. Any sort of love outside that is not necessarily more valuable, but there's something special about that which can never be present. Once someone is bonded to someone else, like married or something like that, it becomes consequential as well. Something changes there. Something dims, dulls. Something like that.'

If anything, I was more confused at the time. It took awhile for it to make sense. I had never thought of love that way. To be honest, it wasn't like I spent a great deal of time thinking about love at all. It's a little awkward even _writing_ that.

Looking down, I realised Koichi was stirring below us, trembling slightly. Somehow, we had forgotten he could still fall off the lower roof, but the wind was blowing downwards now, so there was little danger of that contributing. He could have fallen of his own accord, but the way his eyes had widened before and the trembling at that point told otherwise. For a moment, I wondered if that had been what my father had been afraid, why he had told his, Koichi's, stepfather to keep an eye on him, why he hadn't been eating-that was a little ridiculous, scientifically speaking. Not to mention, with somebody paying attention to him (well, more than one person), he would never pull that through.

Takuya opened his mouth again, and I hit him.

'Oww,' he hissed. 'What's that for?'

'You'll startle him again,' I hissed back. It also suddenly occurred to me that wind carries sound. I couldn't really tell whether that was a good or bad thing as he pulled himself to his knees and went no further. The wind attacked his hair, not held back with a hat or a bandanna like ours, making the short black, almost blue, hair tangle with the air.

I started climbing, quietly. Takuya stared at me, but said nothing. I wondered if I would ultimately be any better than Takuya. I wondered if I was just making excuses to myself, because I wanted to be the one who did something. It was so confusing then; I had been raised as an only child, and suddenly I had somebody else to look out for. Somebody that needed me and somebody that I needed too. But it was a circumstance that was going to take some getting used to.

It was also subtly changing me. Because I hadn't exactly thought things through when I dropped lightly to the other side, making sure not to make a sound. Because there wasn't much way I could get down without jumping down.

It was far, but not that far. It was the sort of jump that would hurt if you weren't prepared, and could somewhat injure, but if you do it right, would only result in a brief shock. And the only way to ensure he wouldn't jump in shock was basically to land on top of him.

Which is how I wound up pinning him to the floor. He did seem startled, predictably, but what I hadn't expected was for him to try and twist out of my grip. A slight wince danced across his face before vanishing; so he had hurt something. His arm had been crushed under the rest of his weight…well, perhaps crushed wasn't the best word. He wasn't that heavy.

'Hey, quit that,' I said automatically. 'You'll fall off.' Somehow, that seemed more important than: 'I'm not going to hurt you.'

He froze, staring at me wild eyed. Not with fear. It made no sense to me at all.

I looked up briefly. Takuya's tell-tale brown was gone. I wondered where he went.

I looked down again. Koichi wasn't looking at me anymore. My mind was working overtime at that point to try and pierce something together, before I noticed something else. His face was pale. Not the chilled pale for being out in the cold wind, but more a sickly shade of pale. He had been sweating a little in sport, I remembered. And he hadn't been running that much.

But I gathered from previous reactions and tales that it would be a bad idea to ask him or point that out outright.

Only problem was, I was no good at small talk.

'What are your hobbies?' I blurted out, startling myself. I guess it was just the need to say something over that accursed wind. I could already feel the cold creeping up my numb skin. I didn't like being cold. It felt too empty.

He opened his eyes and looked at me again. There was still that odd look in his eyes. It was obvious he didn't want me here, but I had to wonder how much he knew. Not as much as I did I thought at the time, and I had been right. It hadn't mattered that much to him; he had always known he had a father out there somewhere. He helped with the expenses, but he hadn't ever helped with the medical fees. He claimed he hadn't known. From what everyone said about my mother's, my birthmother's, stubbornness, it made sense…after you get passed that emotional barrier.

I also had to wonder why he didn't want me. Takuya's words came back to me at that point.

'I like guitar,' I continued. 'And martial arts. And video games, more the strategy and fighting style though. And mystery novels. Not so much fantasy.'

'Hobbies?' he repeated, a little while after I finished talking.

Well, at least he was talking to me. I almost hadn't expected a reply.

'Sure,' I said, looking…well, somewhat glaring I supposed.

'Nothing in particular,' he said eventually, seeing as I wasn't getting off him and I wasn't letting up my gaze.

'Nothing?' I was surprised. 'Takuya said you liked reading and writing?'

'Not anymore.'

He seemed reluctant to continue this discussion…but then, why had he answered in the first place.

'What do you want to do then?' I asked.

'Sleep.'

'Sleep?' I repeated. 'Dream?'

He turned away and answered, an answer that somewhat explained things. 'I want my family, the way it used to be.'

He had lost his grandparents, his uncle and his mother. He didn't want replacements for them; he already had a stepfather. But that was inconsequential to him, because he wasn't related by blood. Blood seemed one of the few consequences of love. The one situation I which it was, is, possible to both love and hate someone.

He slipped out of my grasp, crawling just beyond my reach, but safely away from the lower ledge. I didn't go nearer to him. There was no-where else he could go beyond that except off, and I didn't want him risking that jump. It was longer than from the upper to the lower roof. And it landed on the cement at the back of the building.

There was a way down, using the pipes. They made a stair…sort of. The only reason I noticed that was because Takuya had returned, with Koichi's stepfather in tow. I wondered if he could do anything, but it turned out he didn't have to. The wind had died down to a gentle caress, and the curled up form had drifted off into an uneasy sleep. Or perhaps it was a desired one; he had said after all it was what he wanted to do.

I remembered a line from one of the stories from After the Quake: once the cold sets in, you can't help but awaken.

Here was a different sort of warmth and ice.


	9. Broken Down

Author's Notes

We, this should clear things up. Somewhat. And just for reference, the sickness Koji can never remember the name of was/is Hodgkin lymphoma. It's a form of cancer. It occurs in two separate age groups: teenagers and over their fourties (and that is possible if Tomoko had children late, which is possible with the fact she wound up with twins, IVF or something like that). Varies a bit with nationalities and all that, around here its 15+ and then 45+. It's treatable and manageable, but with the therapy and transplants involved, it can also get quite expensive, if it's the recurring type.

On a sadder note, spring break is gone. Hence time to start studying for the upcoming exams and finish off the rest of those upcoming lectures, tutes, pracs and assessments. I'll still try to update regularly for the time being; I'm nearly done with this one after all. Only …about that actually. I originally planned this to be twelve chapters, but each individual chapter wound up longer than I anticipated except for Fairytale Step-parents, so there might be a problem there. In other words, depending on how much space it takes to write up the rest, it will be either one, two or three chapters more. And because of that, I also can't say what chapter title is next. I hate it when my plans get ruined…but it is a part of life after all.

Enjoy, and R&R.

* * *

><p><span>The School Project<span>

AU-It all started with a new school, and a certain student. He never talked, never fought back…it was discerning to say the least. Then I was paired in a school project with him, and found out quite a bit about him-including the fact that he was my brother.

Kouji M/Koji & Kouichi K/Koichi

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Family

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 9<span>

Broken Down

He was shivering somewhat still, even with the additional body warmth. 'I should have kept him home again,' his step-father growled to himself, almost self-scolding as he supported the other's full weight, before turning to Takuya. 'Thank you for calling me,' he said, a little gruffly.

Takuya rubbed the base of his neck. 'No problem,' he said, though he still looked a little worried. 'What's with him and high, unbound places, I'll never understand.'

That part caught my attention.

Takuya caught my look and shrugged. 'He never did like those safety fences. He's always climbing over them; scares the crap out of me every time.'

I looked up. Jumping down onto the lower roof is one thing, but standing there, balancing on that thing a ledge is another thing entirely. Every second I would have been frightened of falling.

Mr Kaneko looked at the bundle in his arms. 'I'll go ahead and take him home,' he said.

That was the last we saw of either of them till Saturday.

On Friday, the debate was postponed seeing as there was someone absent. That worried everyone who knew and well…worried about Koichi. Everyone knew he took his studies seriously, and he wasn't the type to hold up other people. Unless his step-father was forcing him to stay home. Especially with that fever.

So when Dad said we were going to visit again, for "business" purposes, I jumped at the chance to go along.

'What business?' I demanded though.

Dad just looked at me. 'It's got nothing to do with custody if that's what you're worried about,' was all he said. 'There is also the problem of Tomoko's will.'

Funny how everyone forgot about that.

'Problem?' I asked.

'Yes, well…' His voice trailed off a bit, before he bit his lip and then continued. 'Debts, rent, that sort of thing. Not everything was sorted out. Then there's the super saving, assets, and the problem that she never rewrote the will after the death of her mother and remarriage. So it's a bit of a mess.'

The rest of the trip passed relatively silently. Again, Koichi's stepfather opened the door for us.

'Koichi's in his room,' he told me. 'Sleeping, so you can stay with him if you want, but don't wake him. He's got books and stuff in his room. Or you could-'

'That's okay,' I interrupted, cutting the other options he was about to offer. 'I don't mind staying with him.'

He nodded. 'I don't think it's anything contagious.'

I hadn't been worried about that. No doubt the man in front of me would have caught something otherwise. But all he looked was worried.

'Did you call a Doctor?' I heard my father ask.

I didn't hear an affirmative or negative. But I did hear the additional explanation which said that it had indeed been an affirmation. 'He thought it was a normal bacterial strain. Gave amoxillin, told me to watch the fever and force-feed him if he refuses, and if the fever doesn't break by tonight or rises, then take him to the hospital.'

I couldn't help but frown at that level of professionalism. Not at the father, but the Doctor. It seemed a little unprofessional to me to just assume a bacteria infection. Though to my knowledge amoxillin is a universal antibacterial.

'What worries me is he just recovered from another fever a few weeks ago-'

I opened the door at that point and closed it behind me. The window was partway open, not enough to let the cold freeze anything, but enough to let the fresh air keep recycling the denser, warmer air. Koichi was asleep as his step-father had said, but he certainly didn't look very comfortable from my perspective. A blanket of sweat was on his forehead, partly covered by a wet washcloth. There was also a plastic cup and a bottle of water on the bedside table, probably to keep him hydrated.

I sat down in the desk chair, not bothering to search the bookshelf, instead turning my attention to the desk and noting the photos were once again face-down and covered by the black cloth. Looking at it at that point made it seem rather…eerie. Black represented death in many countries; Japan however was not one of them.

I stared at Koichi a little while longer. I was wearing my jacket, so I wasn't cold despite the warm air. Because of the fever, he I don't think was cold either; he was still dead asleep with only a thin sheet covering him for comfort.

What I noticed beyond the fever was that he, compared to me, looked extremely pale. He's always looked pale from what I could remember. He had lost weight, but then again, he hadn't been eating properly. He had also seemed, well, weaker than normal that week, but again, not eating properly and having a fever probably contributed to that.

So why then was my brain coming back to that? That was what I had wondered at the time, looking at his sleeping form.

Then I remembered what he had said.

'I want my family, the way it used to me.'

That was impossible in this world, and he knew that. There was no way to bring the dead back to life. So then, the only way to see the dead again was to either sleep and dream…or the more permanent solution: death.

Luckily, he came around at that time, or I don't know what the state of my mind would have been like.

For a moment, he just stared at me blurrily, as if he didn't even recognise me.

'Who-?' he began hoarsely, before cutting himself off and turning slightly and avoiding my face, instead looking at the blank wall. 'Go away.'

'What? No way!'

Not that he managed to make it sound very convincing. My mind immediately wondered why he didn't want me there though. I just didn't understand him.

He said nothing, closing his eyes again in an attempt of defiant ignorance. Well, it wasn't going to work, that was for sure.

I tried to offer him a glass of water. He ignored it.

'Oh come on,' I exclaimed, annoyed. 'You're sick. You need to drink.'

He didn't react at all this time. I remembered how the statement or question always bothered him in the past.

_Wait a sec…_

It hit me quite suddenly. Sure, his mother and grandmother had died of the same sickness. But why would it bother him when the worry or assertion was pointed to him specifically? Okay, maybe it was a hurtful reminder, but it had gone on far too long in my opinion. Which summed up to the assumption that he was hiding something.

'This isn't a normal fever,' I said quietly, trying to gauge some validation. 'Is it?'

He ignored me still. That could be taken as an affirmation of my suspicion. Or he was doing too good a job at…well, what he was doing.

'Well, aren't you going to drink something?'

Nothing. No response whatsoever. And let me tell you, sick or whatever, I really don't like being ignored. It just rubs me the wrong way.

'Well fine,' I snapped. 'What do you want? Everyone to just leave you alone so you could die quietly and not bother anyone?'

I said that without thinking. It's funny how we manage to touch the nail at times by doing that. Unfortunately, I hadn't quite gotten the whole head of the nail, though I had chipped off a decent chunk.

I only realised that when he rolled over completely, effectively shutting me out of his vision. That was what made me stop really. It didn't seem like the huffed 'go away, I don't care' kind of attitude. He probably hadn't realised I could still partially see his face, thanks to the mirror. He couldn't see from that angle. But I could see the blue eyes in a quiet, shadowed submission. Yes, he wanted me to leave. But not because he was mad or annoyed or upset.

With all the martial arts I've done, you tend to learn to differentiate between facial and eye expressions, to tell the difference between the bluff and the real thing, and whether that look meant you've gotten more than you want or there's a line in front you that you shouldn't be honourably crossing.

This, that I mean, was more like the last one.

The door clicked shut again as I let go of it. My eyes were still on Koichi. The second the sound had faded, he shook slightly, before curling into himself and sobbing gently. It felt like I was intruding on a private moment, especially when the sudden switch told me I wasn't supposed to see.

I stood silently for a moment, completely off foot (metaphorically speaking). Until the sobbing soft and he closed his eyes as if to sleep again, but when he shifted his body slightly, his face suddenly scrunched up in pain and the faintest noise escaped.

_That_ definitely had nothing to do with the fever. And he was laying on the wrong for it to have anything to do with the arm he fell on.

'Okay,' I began out loud. 'That is definitely no ordinary fever.'

He froze. Stiffened. Bingo.

'What is it?' I asked quietly, almost begging. 'Please..?'

He didn't answer.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know at that point if I was being paranoid or _what_. In those sorts of situations, I just feel the urge to talk, to fill that silent void that looms so uncomfortably close. And I needed answers. I hated being left in the dark.

I know, I know. I have a lot of hates. Don't we all?

'Don't you want to get to know us?' I said, going a little off tangent. 'Dad and I? And Satomi, my….err, our stepmother. She's eager to meet you too.'

He said nothing.

'Aren't you hungry?' Geez, it was like I was playing twenty questions with a wax doll. 'When was the last time you ate properly? Keep it up and you'll be all skin and bones.'

When I said that, I noticed his cheeks looked somewhat sunken. Dull.

'You know, you're worrying Takuya and Zoe. And our parents. And those guys in school have given up on their little mouse charade. I think they've forgotten.'

He twitched slightly, but remained silent. I just pressed on.

'Who do you want to stay with? Both Dad and Mr Kaneko said they'll leave the decision up to you. I couldn't imagine having to make that though. I know you love them both, and they both love yo-'

'Stop it,' he whispered finally, covering both ears with his hands, before coughing slightly. 'He shouldn't-had the chance-'

He stopped there, leaving me confused momentarily. It sounded like two separate statements. Then I remembered what Takuya had told me.

'Your stepfather shouldn't love you because he's not related by blood but consequence,' I said slowly, but loudly so I could be sure he could hear me, even if he had physically blocked his ears. 'He loved your mother and married her, but you're 'technically' excess baggage?' Now that I said it out loud, it both made sense and was nonsensical. 'Dad and I had the chance to just forget about you, not emotionally attached. Takuya and Zoe have other friends. Other lives. Their friendship in regards to a single person is as consequential.'

He turned around to look at me, but his eyes seemed frozen still. We were suddenly both stick within a glacier, one where I was hammering and wearing down, cracking its surface and trying to dig away at the foundations.

'That's not true,' I said flatly, firmly. 'And it will never be true. You may have made it difficult for me to know you, for Dad to know you, for most of our peers to know you. You may have distanced yourself from Takuya and Zoe. But that's not going to stop those deeper levels of love. And that's not going to change the fact that you love them.'

Now why couldn't that have worked? Because I was family, and above that a child, that's why. I said it, but not the cold hard fact it should have been, simply because it was in my hands. Or the hands of someone like me. That was as far as I could go. That was all I understood, and even then, just the hollowed, bared surface. I didn't understand further. I couldn't. And I didn't understand _why_.

And he knew that. That was why he didn't scream at me. Why he just fell back into the silence that he had hidden behind. He would have been content to just stay where he was, if we hadn't cared. I pushed him as far as I could, opened that shell up a little, but in the end, it had closed upon him again. He wouldn't accept that. Not from me. Because he was right. I didn't know him, no matter how much I would want to. If he suddenly vanished, it wouldn't take all that long for him to simply become a shadow I had never known, like Mum.

His stepfather had come in after that and sent me out. Koichi had fallen asleep again by then. Or unconscious I think. He had a way of curling in when he was asleep. He hadn't done that. He looked so different in a sense, and in another, not so different.

He looked so tired, so worn. Mr Kaneko that is.

'Did you notice anything?' he asked me. 'The swelling? The red skin?'

I hadn't. Of course not…they had been under the blanket, where he curled into himself.

'Any sign of pain?'

I told him. And I told him the rest too. Our…sort of conversation.

Dad came up too. 'Is his fever getting worse?'

'Yes,' the other man admitted. 'But that's not the only thing that's bothering me. Tomoko had those rashes too. And they weren't much worse.' There was a small pause, as the implications sunk in, then he closed his eyes. 'I'm taking him to the hospital.'

And he did. The Doctors there ran thorough tests, going so far as to do a CT, which I found rather odd. I didn't comment though; I just sat silently. Dad suggested we go home. I refused.

In the end, someone explained it. The physical aspects anyway. The same thing Mum had died from. Some sort of cancer. It was one of the lowest scales; I remembered that. 1B. But because he hadn't been taking care of himself, its effects had been heightened.

'Nobody can make him do that,' he explained, and it was true. Who could force someone to live when they didn't want to? But against that, I also knew he was afraid. Afraid of dying, or else he would have just let himself fall. He cared; that was obvious, despite how he tried to hide his photos and the other valuables that had remained hidden in that locked drawer. That was the only thing that made sense, when he finally said it out loud.

I'd call him an idiot for thinking like that, but that's because I don't understand. I can't, without going through that myself. But he's far more sensitive than me, and it shows. He may have taken a harder fall because of it too, but he touched more hearts than he realised, and when he needed them, even when refused to say, they were there. It wasn't just us. Just his family, blood or conquest, or his friends that stood by him. Little things that changed subtly. There was no mouse to chase; in a sense, I had lied. They didn't forget. They missed it. Stupid idiots.


	10. Fragments of a Finale

Author's Notes

Well, after working on this chapter, I've realised this is it. Cognitive maps aren't always entirely accurate, hence why our plans always change.

By the way, keep in mind that this is a first person POV. Thus, highly subjective and biased. So you have to read between the lines for the facts.

And last, a big thank you to Meda Princess and Asarikou-chan for sticking through this. Arigato *squeals and gives big hug*

Hehe, the ending reminds me of that song from Annie. 'The sun will come out tomorrow...' or something like that.

Enjoy, and R&R.

* * *

><p><span>The School Project<span>

AU-It all started with a new school, and a certain student. He never talked, never fought back…it was discerning to say the least. Then I was paired in a school project with him, and found out quite a bit about him-including the fact that he was my brother.

Kouji M/Koji & Kouichi K/Koichi

Rating: T

Genre/s: Drama/Family

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 10<span>

Fragments of a Finale

We went again the next day. Koichi had to spend the night, and the next few, in the hospital. I can't really remember how long he did stay for in the end; it took a little longer than it should have for the same reasons it got so bad in the first place. There was not much use stuffing food into a mouth that rejected it, even if it made it past the physical barrier and down the throat. It wouldn't be reenergizing. It would just be a foreign body one wanted out of their body. Whatever food they gave him at the beginning, he threw it up. It wouldn't stay down.

The doctors were better here. It was a major hospital; I had wondered originally why he drove past the closer one, but it made more sense. The quality of care here was better, not to mention it was more thorough. They even screened me, because that cancer was possibly genetic; it had appeared in three different generations after all. But nothing showed up, much to Dad's invisible relief. The shoulders relaxed just the tiniest amount. He hid himself well. For most of his life, his cases, his job, and even to an extent his family, he had to.

He slept the whole time I visited. Nothing productive happened. I had nothing left to say anyway, though the psychiatrist stopped by towards the end, effectively prolonging my stay. She introduced herself as Sumiko Takahashi. Her first name was rather ironic. The "sumi" kanji meant 'clear thinking.'

That was the first and last time in my life so far that I have talked to a psychiatrist in the generic sense. I've talked to school counsellors, for orientation, first day and then the trouble I sometimes wind up into, but never a professional clinical practitioner. And I have to admit, while none are particularly pleasurable, but are extremely different experiences.

She talked to me quite a bit, and not all about Koichi. She asked me about myself, my family, all the moving around we did, hobbies, friends and a whole bunch of stuff. It took hours, and I couldn't really ignore her. She just kept on persisting, almost daring me a few times to walk out of there, but it was a catch 22 that I couldn't get out of. By the end, she knew far more about me than I was comfortable with, and I wasn't even her 'patient'. Sure, it was all done in the name of professionalism, but tell me, are you comfortable with clawing out all these little nitpicks on your life that define you and your relationship with the world and leave them at the feet of someone you don't even know that could translate them into any way they please.

Turned out she did the same thing with Dad and Koichi's stepfather as well. I don't think either of them were entirely comfortable as well. At the same time though, answering all those questions and listening to her tell her own stories (sort of like an equivalent exchange, she answered every question she asked) helped us understand a little bit about ourselves. Even Takuya and Zoe weren't exempted from that, when they came to visit on the Sunday as well.

Then she started firing questions at Koichi. He didn't answer for a time, but did that deter her? Nope. It was only when she took it to the same extreme I had accidently done, only fleshing it out to the points I hadn't even considered, did he shut his hands over his ears again. But she pulled them away, forcing for an answer until he shook and cried and said something illegible.

She paused after that, letting him cry. He accepted the hug that his stepfather offered him. Dad just hung back awkwardly. So did I.

She spoke more softly after that. More sympathetically. I don't know exactly what happened; they were one to one conversations. But she told us to encourage him, make him do things other than just sit or lay there. His stepfather brought the books and read to him for a few days. The psychiatrist continued to talk to him. She encouraged us to do the same, just about simple mundane things in the present and the future leaving the past. You might as well call it therapy, because that's what it was.

I don't know what I had been expecting, to be honest. Some quick-fix thing I think. But that's not real life. It took awhile for he himself to say what he felt, and finally understand what he had been doing. He told me afterwards. A net caught between wanting to live and wanting to die. Wanting to see the family he had lost but at the same time being in pain from their loss, knowing he never could. Wanting to leave a world behind, but at the same time sparing that world of his loss. Wanting to fall, but being afraid to take the fall himself. The ultimate paradox in the end: life and death. He took the more passive route, but it would have amounted to the same thing in the end. But I wonder if he would have cracked under that boulder anyway, with all that weight.

Then there was the chemotherapy of course. And the ramifications of that.

The fact is though that there's no quick fix, to anything significant. We're not like something you just stick glue onto and it looks perfect, and even then, that inanimate object has lost part of itself in the process of being broken and rebuilt. Some little substance, a few grains, that can never be brought back.

But you know what? You have to have that inner complexity first. The more you have, the more you have to lose. I guess different people deal with that in different ways. And who can say ultimately which one is better? I say of course that it's better to have and keep less substance, even if that results in more hollow material. It hurts less in the end. Being colder, less sensitive, but then the problem arises that someone will come and break that wall, that fortress, that you've built around yourself. And then there's all that time you've lost, trying to hide from the world.

It may not seem like much on the surface, but it's more significant than most people think. Some people go their whole lives without noticing the emptiness that grows inside, even when they have friends, family and a world around them, simply because they're not in touch with their surrounds, because that ice still freezes their heart and hollows it out. Some people, spiritual doctors, call it a white stone that's dragging you down, sinking...I was told that at a festival I went to once. And then it showed up again in 'Thailand', one of the short stories in After the Quake. The white stone, the deafening silence, the snakes with their deadly poisonous fangs waiting in that darkness to strike...

Fiction can sometimes hit closer than we want or think it can. I don't think the stone was white in that doctor in 'Thailand'…or maybe it was; I haven't read it since. It was interesting, but as a one night read. But you know what? It doesn't matter, because we also have a way of linking things. Humans hate odd ends; we'd get a needle and thread them together if we have to, even at the times we don't necessarily mean to do so.

Koichi still doesn't talk much; I don't know if he's just that way or it's what he's become that can never be changed. Or maybe it is changing, slowly, but he still remains in the shadows. But in a sense, it's also better that way. But it's also something I could never do. I stand out too much. I'm too cold. Too frigid. Too defined. Both are both a curse and a blessing. It depends, always, on circumstance.

I think what I was scares him as much as what he was scares me. He's never said it outright, but he has certainly given that impression. I was surprised, to be honest; I hadn't expected him to notice so much…but he saw the black hole, the white stone as well. And it's still there; we both know it. He travelled the parabola, survived and made it through, with a world supporting him and not letting go. Even if there had been no single person pushing, in the end I ultimately think he would have cracked and risen under the strain; water flowing over the seed, eventually causing it to sprout no matter how think the protective layer was. Me…that water would make me sink like a rock. Koichi's words, not mine, and from a random tangent in conversation. He does that a lot too. Say things that don't necessarily relate directly to the current conversation I mean. It's a strange quirk of his. Like Takuya's goggles and my bandana. Or the way Takuya has a habit of attaching 'buddy' to quite a few his sentences. It drives me up the wall, so I've left them out. Koichi also has a very different way of looking at things; he's rather aesthetically orientated.

Look at it this way. A small, hard piece of rock. It's hard to lose something from it, but at the same time, what else is it going to get? Maybe a little of the air, but it's going to remain a small hard rock for a long time. Get a nice fluffy sponge, it'll soak up water and nutrients like a…well, like a sponge. You wring it, it loses all of that, becomes sodden and stiff, but the second you put it into a rich environment, it starts soaking again. Basically, I'm the rock, he's the sponge. A very confusing sponge. You get something in one context, it makes perfect sense. Apply it to a different context…you're back where you started. Can't pin him down no matter how many pins you have, but that's what makes him one of those people who could make a real difference in the world. One of those extraordinary people. Not special per say, because everyone is special in their own way. But then again, I'm his brother. I'm allowed to be proud…and envious. But that's another thing altogether. I can envy him; he gets higher grades than me. He makes more of a difference, even when he tried his utmost to change that and utterly failed.

Back to what I was saying earlier. In my eyes, he's so complicated and intertwined that he's well…constantly dynamic. You get one image, and it changes the next time he does something. It somewhat stagnated during that period when he gave up, but once he sorted himself up and pulled himself to his feet, he's about as vast and mysterious as the ocean depths, and that's no over-exaggeration. For instance, when he got back to school and Mrs Kakon unexpectedly sprouted a rather difficult math test, we all struggled through it except him who finished in the first ten minutes…and got a 100. The next highest was 80. Mine was 78. Only Takuya didn't seem surprised; even the teacher was shocked. He just said that Koichi couldn't possibly tutor him in math and then wind up with a lower score honestly. In other words, he had been purposely down=playing his marks. He, Koichi I mean, had just gone bright red and muttered something about forgetting, before stuffing the paper neatly out of sight. He couldn't do that again on the next paper, because it was so obvious it was no fluke. So he gets a 95 instead. And I know for a fact he could do that last question that he 'missed', because he explained it to me the night before. It's the kind of behaviour that shies away from attention, but is remembered for times to come.

But while the fall is quick, the climb back up is a slow and painful process. It's even worse when no-one alive knows where the top is, so how will we know? We always ask him if he's okay, so much so that even he, the guy who never gets angry at anyone, starts becoming visibly annoyed. A perfectly normal reaction; to be honest, that's one of the few 'normal' things I see in him. Normal by my definition that is. Everyone has a different definition of normal.

He'd make a good psychiatrist himself you know. He reminds me an awful lot of that Sumiko when he wants answers. He can be stubborn in his own way; people just tend to underestimate that. But his logic is so damn confusing (even if it makes complete sense when you actually think about it properly) that you always get caught in a catch 22 and wind up spilling. Shame it takes so long to catch him at it, and even then, only when he drops his guard, which he only does at one time. You all know; I don't need to say. Only he's too sensitive. He's the selfless sort of person, the one who will help the world but do little for themselves save the necessity, and drop that when the weight crashes down on top of them.

It's a lot. Watching people die. It's something you can never understand until you experience it. I have, but only the very tip of the iceberg. Whether Mum died at two or twelve sans the fact I never knew her. There's a distance there. That is enough to make a vast difference. Like a mountain and a molehill. Maybe you know someone who went through something similar but dealt with it a different way. Okay, so people deal with things differently. I'm not saying what he did was the best. I still think it was stupid. I've already told you, it doesn't really make much sense, even after mulling over it for hours on end and writing pages and pages of words streaming onto blank pieces of paper. I really suck at this; half of this feels like it's someone else talking. It is really. This isn't my story after all; I'm just translating it onto paper. No doubt if someone else told it, it would have come out rather different.

Now that I'm here, there really isn't an end, is there? Of anything. Circles, circles…never a beginning nor an end. Something always replaces something else; we humans can be rather insignificant in the view of the great big world. And why are we here? What are we doing? What do we want to do?

You remember when I asked Koichi that question a while back. He just said he wanted to sleep. He wanted things the way they used to be. He wanted the impossible, the one thing that did not exist in the plane of life. It only existed one place, and he had wanted that. But he's just a child, even if he had to grow up faster than some. Face it, he was the man of the house from when he was what? Three? Four? It didn't really matter that he still had his mother raising him. She worked. He had to grow independent and the wall dependent and being dependent on rather early compared to today's civilisation. Sometimes I think we're weaker now, but then again, I didn't exist three million years ago, did I?

Yeah, so anyway, now he just says: 'I don't know.' It's an improvement. Because really, ultimately, who can say they're 100% sure where they're taking their life? I sure as hell can't, and if anyone says they can, they're lying. You can't ever say it honestly; they'll always be a tiny part of you that isn't sure. That's just the way life is. Even after you've done something, there's that little doubt. There's always that little something that complicates the world; it's just more prominent in the sponge made up of little intercalated pieces than the large big rock.

Because to be honest, I'm not going much where myself. At least he's come far a ways. Me, I haven't moved much at all. I can still see my starting point, clear as day. That shouldn't be happening, not at this stage. I should just pack it on a boat and send it to America. Or Australia. Or off to the Artic. That would be good…or not. With my luck, it'll freeze into a gigantic glacier, and then when the ocean rises because all the ice is melting, it will float all the way back to Japan.

And if you thought Koichi is the pessimistic one, you couldn't be more wrong. If you figured out I am, kudos to you, because you'd be right. Normally he's the optimistic twin, but when he's depressed, he can get a little pessimistic. Me, even when I'm 'happy' I'm pessimistic, and Koichi says he doubts how 'happy' I really am. He's good at reading people, he is. I told you already he can see that white stone as well as I can. But I don't think he can do much more for me than I could do for him. Because now I can't see his stone anymore. Or sponge or whatever you want to call it. But he says it's still there. It always is. You can't build a palace in day, but you can never built a cure. There's always the risk of remission, but he's stronger than me because he can come out of all that smiling, caring, reaching out. Me, I had all the friends and family I could deal with. And I'm just not naturally a nice and caring person. Sure, if someone's in trouble, I'll help them, but I'll wind up invariably hurting them in return. The glaciers only melt so much every year of course. And it's only worse now because the world's coming to an end.

He wound up staying at his stepfather in the end. Shocked everyone with the decision to be honest, but he did point out that out love was a consequence and left it that. I'm not entirely sure what he meant, but he visits often enough, and so do we. I think if he had lived with us though, the one thing that would have changed is our family would have eventually wound up a person shorter. Or maybe that's just what he thought. Or what I thought. I never really got what he meant. Nor did anyone else.

The day he got back to school, we, Takuya and I that is, ran into a bunch of older guys behind the junior high school with someone who looked to be Shinya's age. Well, maybe the 'with' is a bit misleading. More like they were shoving him in the damp mud (it had rained the day before) and getting ready to beat him up.

Unfortunately, they caught sight of us and blocked our path. Or maybe it was fortunate, or else Takuya would have rushed in and there went the neighbourhood. As it was, we were in plain view of our own school and the teacher standing there, not to mention Takuya for one would be suspended indefinitely if he got into another fight, so he knew well enough he couldn't take the risk.

'Let me go,' the little boy begged, a little pathetically in my opinion. Seriously, he could at least act like he's got some backbone.

'Hmm…' one of the others replied. 'No.'

He made to kick, only to fall flat on his face. I'm not quite sure how Koichi did it; I hadn't seen him do anything. To be honest, I don't even know if he _did_, but he must have, because there was no-one else around and the only thing the guy could have tripped on was air. But I have to admit, he gave me a scare showing up out of no-where like that.

He made the same sort of impression on them. He just told them to leave the other kid alone, not yelling like we would have done or fighting or ordering or anything. Just calmly, coolly, telling. But there was something mysterious, almost deadly in that voice. And they did. Surprisingly. Muttering to themselves. Cowards. But still, you never see him fighting or standing up for _himself_.

We went to school together, Takuya chatting and both of us listening in our different ways. Or maybe not; I had tuned him out. And it's near impossible to tell with Koichi; you can never catch him at it. He gives a new meaning to the phrase "in one ear and out the other". He's an enigma. Sometimes I wish that puzzle was just a bit easier to solve. I've already told you, I don't like puzzles too much when they can't be solved. There's a sense of insecurity there.

We're brothers, but it's not as simple as the phrase says. Ten years apart and the distance of the sun and the moon between us. Not that I'm saying I'm the sun and he's the moon; we're similar in lots of ways as well. But the puzzle doesn't neatly fit, because there's always little increments still missing, and an eye seeing it its own way. You try to force it together, it falls apart. And as dynamic as it is, we have to be content with how we are. Integrated at the surface, with the depths hardened beyond measure or floating spirit. It's a relationship you'll never understand unless you're in this situation. We don't fight the way you average brothers fight. There's still shattered glass we have to tiptoe around. Boundaries both of us are too uncomfortable to cross. Words that fade into the shadows; things we just can't say. And other things that come spilling out. Little barriers warping, rearranging themselves to slowly account for the new world.

Yes. Things are changing. Slowly. The world is after all dynamic. And who can say what comes tomorrow?


End file.
